•Women compared to men were half as likely to report being satisfied at first intercourse, and about eight times less likely to have an orgasm,” Peragine said
• The study also found that men’s first experience of sex had no apparent effect on their current levels of sexual desire.
Well, for most people, having sex for the first time in a meaningful and memorable rite of passage.
Researchers at the University of Toronto has recently discovered that not only are those experiences memorable, but they also have lasting impacts, especially on a woman’s sexual desire later in life.
Diana Peragine, the lead, who also doubles up as a psychologist and other researchers studied 838 heterosexual adults and found that women only differed from men in their desire for partnered sex if their first experience of sex wasn’t an enjoyable one—that is if their “first time” was lacking in orgasm.
“Conventional wisdom tells us women have a weaker sex drive than men—that the libido gap is large, and it’s stable across the lifespan because women are wired to fundamentally want sex less than men,” Pergaine said.
The study, called “A Learning Experience? Enjoyment at Sexual Debut and the Gender Gap in Sexual Desire among Emerging Adults” was recently published in the Journal of Sex Research.
“Women compared to men were half as likely to report being satisfied at first intercourse, and about eight times less likely to have an orgasm,” Peragine.
She added that women who had an orgasm the first time they had sex were more interested in partnered sex, and their current levels of desire for it were equal to men’s.
She said this suggested that, if first experiences are powerful lessons, first intercourse is no exception.
“It may serve as a ‘learning experience’ for many, and an important one for developing expectations that sex can be enjoyable, and beliefs that we deserve, and are entitled, to enjoy it,” she says.
The study also found that men’s first experience of sex had no apparent effect on their current levels of sexual desire.
“Rather than really speaking to fixed gender differences in sexual desire, our findings raise the possibility that a sexual debut lacking in orgasm may be a common part of women’s sexual socialization where sexual activity may be disincentivized,” Peragine said, “(It’s a) sexual debut that’s more frustrating than it is rewarding.”
She notes that previous research has shown that men are more likely than women to suffer from problems of high sexual desire.
Women are more likely to have problems of low sexual desire, and the desire gap between healthy men and women persists across adulthood—perpetuating the myth that women have a naturally weaker sex drive than men.
Peragine said she wanted to conduct this research because she wondered whether women’s lower sexual desire might be better explained by their lack of enjoyment during their first experience with sexual intercourse, rather than by their gender.
“Previously, there was this idea that sexual desire was like hunger or thirst that originates internally and emerges spontaneously,” she says.
“But obviously now, we’re understanding that it’s more dynamic and responsive to experience, and that rewarding sexual experiences shape our sexual expectations.”
Ultimately, she hopes that the study, which demonstrates that lower sexual desire among women may be due to an experiential difference rather than a gender difference, inspires other research into the “gender gap” of sexual desire.
She adds that the research also has important implications for sex education, which often focuses on sexual health and promoting healthy sex.
“I do think this kind of work could bring us closer to sex education interventions that facilitate healthy sexual development in the holistic sense of the word,” Peragine said.
She added that the research also illustrated that the first sexual intercourse experience itself might be a source of sex education.
“We don’t often acknowledge the real-life, hands-on experiences of young men and women with sex—which may be the most instructional of all.”
What are your thoughts?