SAMANTHA'S CHRONICLES

Royal headache

Power to Meghan as she fights for space

In Summary

• Haters will always hate, you can run but not hide from them

Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex are seen with their baby son, who was born on Monday morning, during a photocall in St George's Hall at Windsor Castle, in Berkshire, Britain May 8, 2019
Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex are seen with their baby son, who was born on Monday morning, during a photocall in St George's Hall at Windsor Castle, in Berkshire, Britain May 8, 2019
Image: REUTERS

I read somewhere that there is probably more wiring in our brain, more electrical circuitry, than in all the computer systems of the world put together. So if my brain is a computer then the air I’m inhaling right now through the oxygen tank is its power source, and every breath I’m taking is restoring it to full charge.

My mum is holding several newspapers, and I beckon to her to pass one to me. I might as well find out what’s been happening in the world since I’ve been cooped up here.

There’s a huge story about Prince Harry and Meghan stepping back as senior royals. Good for them! They are to give up their royal titles as well as refund the money that was spent renovating their home. In return, they hope the British press will stop hounding them.

Oh, poor Harry. He doesn’t get it. They don’t hound you because you are HRH. They hound you because you and Meghan sell newspapers. If every time she appears on the front page they sell a million copies, they won’t stop. People who hate you will always hate you. And it has nothing to do with your actions.

So you used Elton John’s private jet and re-decorated Frogmore cottage. These are the ‘evil deeds’ that have turned the British press against her. For context, they have your uncle, who was consorting with a convicted child sex trafficker in their midst, but it’s you two they want brought down. It’s clearly her they hate, not her actions.

They may eventually learn to live with her, perhaps grudgingly respect her; like they have with Camilla, but deep down, they’ll always be gunning for something terrible to happen. That’s because she represents something they all aspire to and will never attain. Be it brains, grace, beauty… or even bagging a handsome prince.

No amount of PR will ever get them to like her because their hatred stems from jealousy. She has something they don’t. You’re not hated at all, Harry. Why is that? You married a black girl; you turned your back on the monarchy and family, why do you think that none of the hate is directed at you? By the way, whoever let you watch ‘Coming to America’ when you were growing up caused all this.

“I renounce my throne! I’m no longer the prince of Zimunda. I renounce my throne!”

Ha ha! And it’s not because they believe she has power over you, either (No-one really believes a soldier who did tours in Afghanistan has no balls to stand up for himself). It’s because everything you have is your birthright. The blood that flows through your veins gave you the privilege you enjoy. And because the rest of us cannot be royals (except through marriage), we have to be jealous of the one who got the ring. Even the children’s books like Cinderella show us how no one will ever cheer for the girl that bags the prince.

Ignore the haters. You deserve every happiness you may never fully find with your mental health struggles. Power to Meghan if her and your son manage to give your soul any joy. You and William will find your way back to each other. Some bonds can never be broken. Enjoy Canada. Your family is also welcome to Kenya when the Canadian winter bites too hard. We don’t pay attention to celebrities here. No, not even royalty.

As for money, you’ll be just fine. Your mum left an heritance that’s not too shabby. And your dad has a stack of cash as well. He’ll probably leave it all to you, seeing as his other son is already sorted — he’s a future King, after all.

I fold up the newspaper and hand it back to my mum. My head is starting to ache again.