Last weekend (December 9), an article bearing the headline “Finding the perfect dress for a Swahili wedding” was published in The Star Weekend edition. The article, I found, bared some misconceptions, misrepresentations and a whole lot of exaggeration on Mombasa weddings.
Having grown up in Mombasa, I was fortunate enough to have a great deal of exposure to the diversity of an otherwise perceived homogenous group. I say this to clear out the misconception of representing all Mombasa residents as “Swahilis”. The Swahili people are one of the local tribes represented in the coastal region.
So the next time an invitation for a wedding to Mombasa is issued, let’s not immediately categorise it as a “Swahili wedding” without having any indication of the persons’ ethnicity and culture. Surely, the experience one gets from a wedding the Swahili people (tribe) is completely different from a wedding of any other local tribe. Chances are most weddings would have Swahili music, serve Biriani or Pilau, and people will speak Kiswahili; but within the festivities, the culture and customs undertaken are invariably different. So do we then overlook the uniqueness of our cultures by classifying an entire region as a homogenised society?
Whilst I found the article to have an excitable tone in its writing, it was lacking in most manners of reality and accuracy. According to the article, the Nikkah was referred to as a “Swahili wedding ritual”. The Nikkah is an Islamic wedding. The word itself is an Arabic word that refers to marriage and it is a religious ceremony which validates that the marriage has taken place in accordance with the Islamic law. In the article, the author stated that women dress in ‘deras’. I would like to point out that since it is a religious ceremony, women (and men) dress in modest, conservative outfits. This part of the ceremony usually is attended by high-ranking clerics of the mosque and religious institution. I believe nobody wants to be caught dead with a sleeveless dress in front of the Kadhi.
Moving on to the second part of the wedding as listed in the original article, the ‘Kupamba’. Kupamba is a Kiswahili word meaning ‘to decorate’. Coming from the literal translation of having to decorate the bride and debuting her to the society as a newly married woman. In short, this part of the ceremony is just a reception. Women dance to good music, eat good food, get to see the bride and if they are lucky, they get to see the groom.
I would like to clarify that most Muslim weddings done in Mombasa are segregated. The men and women have different functions at different venues. This is why women are able to dress up and dance freely within the venue
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because they will not be seen by men. So the chances of “getting your catch” at these weddings are slim to none.
And yes, women do go all out to look good on these particular days because —
in practicality —
weddings are one of the few events in which women feel free to express themselves fashionably without having to cover up (as there are no men around). So yes, sometimes people do go overboard during weddings, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say “one would prefer to sleep for three nights without food but gets the perfect dress and outfit for the wedding”. This statement is incredulously misguided and infuriating. No one sleeps hungry to afford a Sh15,000 dress, and even if they did (which they don’t), I can assure you the three nights worth of dinner will not supplement the Sh15,000.
As a Mombasa-born resident, I have had difficulties in coming to terms with the way we are represented within the broader spectrum. But the most important part, was understanding and appreciating my culture and of those around me. It is important to me that we are all represented accordingly and correct those who might misrepresent us.