Be a true friend or walk away

Someone asked me a very strange question the other day, “You know so and so. Why can’t they get you a big job?” What’s wrong with my job? Does this person have sense really?

Apart from the fact that I do not need a job, I thought this was really selfish. Even if I did need a job, I am not friends with that person for what they can give me. Why is it hard for people to be friends with people because of friendship and not what the person can do for you? This is exactly why when people start making any small gains or get into a certain position they stop answering your calls. You think it is because they are “feeling good”. It is really because you are greedy and entitled.

People have gone through a lot to get where they are. They do not owe you anything because you hang around them or even because they are your relatives. Just try being a true friend to someone. Really, try it. In fact, we need to relearn the art of pleasure. And this is not just in the bedroom. Although that is also very important.

I remember Oprah once talked about when she received overnight guests. She talked about having a thoughtful snack, reading material and fresh flowers in the guest room. I know we do not all have guest rooms or even have overnight guests. The point is, people remember how they felt around you. If you value someone, invest in being pleasurable to be around. You know what? It also makes you feel good. Stop looking at it in terms of the material thing you will get back, because feeling good about yourself is pretty awesome.

Please note, you do not practice the art of pleasure on everyone, not everyone deserves you in that way. If you are going to call a person your friend, then you must be pleasant to be around. It starts with being genuine. You can try and fake a lot of things but you cannot hide bad energy. If you want to be around someone for only what you can get, remember greed has a repugnant smell. People will smell you. Even with your fake smile.

If we may enter the bedroom, the art of pleasure, perfected, is rewarding to both parties. I know we all think we get maximum results because our partners ooh and aaahh on cue. We have been taught to respond and some people are good at squirting fluids on demand. You will be forgiven for thinking you have been successful because, soundtrack check, fluids check plus they said so. Most times people do this so you stop assaulting them in the name of lovemaking.

Pleasure is not forced. You need to be genuinely interested in the other person. Then the experience you provide will be welcomed and not something to get over hurriedly and awkwardly. The ones of “they must come with their own orgasm” school of thought, this the reason you might be failing in the relationship department yet you think it is because women are only interested in money.

I want to say the same principle applies in business. If you really care about your clients and their experiences, then you do not have to wait for one week in a year to spam them with meaningless messages pretending to like them. They know you feel shit for them by the way you treat them throughout the year.

Let us agree to unlearn. Let us also use honesty as part of this art. You can get more out of life by making another person feel good about themselves and being around you.

I do not know if it is age, but I think life is too short and memories are forever. I do not want to be a shitty friend or a selfish lover. If I like you, I want to make you feel good. It makes me feel good too.

I cannot tell you the number of times I have met my father’s friends or people who knew him and just because of their relationship with him many years back, are willing to open a door for me. Do not seek to just reap, usually where you have not sown. Bless people with the pleasure of your company. In it there is great satisfaction and the benefits will be felt in the next generation.

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