Why Kenyan men suffer gender-based violence in silence

Donald Wafula is a resident of Kiambio in Nairobi.

On several occasions, he has witnessed cases of gender-based violence meted on men by their spouses. But none comes out to report.

He says even many are suffering in silence for fear of being judged by society should they come out to talk.

The fear and the shame would not allow them to come out and express themselves freely and be helped.

“We men are being violated but we rarely talk. If I am beaten by my wife I will not talk because I am a man, I won’t let my neighbour know. I can’t wash my dirty linen in public my neighbours and fellow men will laugh at me,” Wafula says.

“There are a lot of violations that we need guidance and counselling, It is not beating beaten alone. There are different violations, some men are denied food, he is sick for a long time but they are still being told to work,” he adds.

On Sunday, various organisations came together to celebrate International Men’s Day.

They include the Men Engage Kenya Network (MenKen), the Nairobi Metropolitan Services, Global Communities, AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Texas Cancer Centre, Kenya Red Cross and St John’s Community Centre.

Key on the agenda was men’s mental health, mental wellness and positive gender relations.

The event brought together more than 300 men who were targeted to benefit from a free medical camp comprising of HIV testing services, prostate cancer screening, diabetes and hypertension testing services, mental health counselling and fitness challenge.

According to MenKen founder Fredrick Nyaga, the inability for men to come out and speak when they are faced with challenges is to be blamed on the social profiling right from when they were young.

“The type of message which comes from the parent, from the community from the schools is like you are a man be tough, don’t be weak,” Nyaga said.

As a result, the majority grow up knowing they have to face their problems on their own.

This has in turn affected their health-seeking behaviour as most only show up at a health facility when it is too late.

“So many a times they want to show that they are strong and when a man goes to the hospital frequently he is considered a weakling and because of that negative masculinity they want to show that they are strong,”   he said.

“For instance like this Covid-19 pandemic period you find that many men walking around without a mask but they think that because they are men they are strong enough nothing will get them.

Also to note is that when it comes to the provision of health services, some services are specifically for women mostly but Nyaga suggests that it is high time men started accompanying their spouses to some of the routine services such as when going for Ante-natal clinic.

“Now we have women clinics in our facilities and we give priorities when a man comes to bring the spouse to maternity facilities then we make sure that we give him the first priority and we also engage him,” head of GBV unit at NMS Roselyne Kabana said.

According to Kabana, there were close to 1,800 female survivors of GBV compared to just less than 200 men between April to June 2021 with a similar trend being recorded between July and September.

“When it comes to mental health we women talk but it is very rare for a man to talk but now that is what we are trying to bring out, come out talk about it, we will be able to provide the support,” she added.

ALCOHOL ABUSE

Men are at higher risk of heavy drinking and developing alcohol use disorders. On the other hand, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women due to harmful stereotypes about what it means to be a man.

Data from the World Health Organization shows that out of the 421 suicide cases reported in Kenya in 2017, 330 were men.

“The reporting of gender-based violence that is directed to men is dismal probably because of the methods that we use to collect such data, we expect the men to walk to police stations, we expect them to go and report to the administrative offices it is a bit difficult,” Paul Kuria said.

Kuria is the director for research and programmes at the National Gender and Equality Commission.

Edited by D Tarus