- Fathers who verbally, emotionally and physically abuse their spouse and children damage their self-esteem and sense of worthiness.
- Consequently, the children often find themselves seeking validation from father figures around them some of whom are likely to mislead them.
Image: FILE
The cry of society is getting louder with each passing day, urging fathers to rise and take the mantle, lead their families and be role models to their children.
Society has gone berserk; the crime rate is soaring at an alarming rate.
From acts of terrorism to rape and defilement, human trafficking, drug trafficking and homicide cases just to mention but a few, the social upheavals are becoming untamable.
According to various statistics, the increase in social upheavals can largely be attributed to fathers’ absenteeism in a family set-up.
Former US President George Washington Bush stated that fatherlessness has emerged as one of the greatest social problems.
To echo these sentiments, former president Uhuru Kenyatta expressed his concern over the rising cases of single parenthood terming it a threat to our traditional values and the family.
The former head of state went on to highlight the dangers associated with single-parenthood-led families adding that if unchecked, the trend would destroy the fundamental character of Kenya and cause untold harm to our children.
The 2019 National census depicted a gloomy trajectory where families headed by a single parent rose from 25.1 per cent in 2009 to 38. 2 per cent in 2019.
In most cases, the single parents are usually mothers.
According to a report by Ndirangu Ngunjiri, a PHD student at the University of Nairobi on Kenyan Prisons and police stations found that 46 per cent of inmates were fatherless, 60 per cent of juvenile inmates come from fatherless homes and 90 per cent of convicted rapists come from fatherless homes.
The research was carried out between April and September 2019.
The impact of absent fathers has heavily contributed to dysfunctional childhood leading to delinquency.
For instance, in the case of Joseph Juma Odhiambo aka Yusuf, one of the three terror convicts who escaped from Kamiti Maximum Prison fell into delinquency after his father rejected him thus seeking solace and belonging in the wrong company.
In another case, Victor Odede Bwire saw in Elgiva Bwire his cousin who was also convicted for terrorist activities, a father figure and a role model he could emulate.
Elgiva inspired him to join a terror outfit and he was planning to attack the KICC building before he was nabbed. He is currently serving a twenty-year sentence on terrorism charges.
Father’s absenteeism is present everywhere. Traditionally, it is expected that men will take leadership in various spheres.
The very presence of a father embodies authority conveyed through his daily involvement in family life.
However, women have taken over the leadership mantle in most places like churches, school events, hospital visits and residential meetings by men being absent.
The result of father absenteeism can be seen and experienced through high levels of indiscipline, immorality and psychopathological behaviour among children.
Lately, there is a growing trend where young men are involving themselves in irresponsible sexual behaviours resulting in unplanned pregnancies.
Mostly, these men do not commit to bringing up the children in a family set-up where both parents are actively present.
They are proudly calling themselves ‘Baby daddies’ without putting into consideration the impact it has on the psychological development and upbringing of these children.
On the flip side, some fathers are present physically but their presence causes more harm than good.
Fathers who verbally, emotionally and physically abuse their spouse and children damage their self-esteem and sense of worthiness.
Consequently, the children often find themselves seeking validation from father figures around them some of whom are likely to mislead them.
Some of the perceived father figures take advantage of their vulnerability and recruit them into vices like robbery, terror outfits, unnatural sexual acts, and child pornography among many others.
In other families, some fathers are always present but not actively involved in their children’s day-to-day activities.
For instance, they don’t follow up on their progress academically, extracurricular activities and their general well-being.
They don’t bother to know who their peers are and mostly it is the mothers who know when the children are going astray.
We are not blind to the fact that there are fathers who by their professions are not physically present in their children’s lives.
This should not however hinder them from connecting with their families back home.
With the current technological developments, they should be able to exploit communication media such as video calls through social media networks such as WhatsApp groups, telegram, face time among others to keep in touch with their families.
In a nutshell, children brought up without fathers being actively present end up with dysfunctional childhood resulting in criminality.
Thus, it is the responsibility of the society which is immediate family members, village elders, religious leaders, teachers and chiefs, to ensure that where the fathers are not present, they intentionally step in and be role models to guide, shape and mentor these children into responsible citizens.
Paul Ilado is the Head of Content at Radio Africa.