Once upon a time in some far-off land or distant place, a man and a woman meet. Their eyes may meet across the room, or are drawn to each other amid a sea of faces. Sometimes their encounter written is the stars. But just as it seems our two lovers have found their “happily ever after”, something pulls them apart.
Whether it is feuding families, wars, impossible trials or even curses placed on them by jealous deities, there is always something keeping our protagonists apart.
There are desperate efforts by both parties to be reunited with their soulmate, often resulting in casualties on both sides. Eventually they either end up together or, more often than not, their tale ends in tragedy.
Our histories are filled with epic love stories, both fiction and nonfiction, from Paris and Helen of Troy, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, Ancient Greece’s Orpheus and Eurydice and even Romeo and Juliet. They have shaped the way we look at love, the way we write about love, and the way we experience love.
According to a poll conducted a few years ago, Kenyans are the least romantic people in East Africa. To discover why this is would require an in-depth dissection into its people, traditions and cultures, but perhaps a place to start would be by looking at our epic love stories — or rather, lack of them.
As Africans, we have a rich culture of tradition and stories passed down from generation to generation. And while they are an eclectic collection of tales involving people, animals and various gods, they each have one recurring theme: why you should not cheat and how not to get tricked.
Our folk tales seem focused on moralities, what is wrong and what is right, and good versus evil. There is, however, a distinct absence of romance in the stories of our ancestors.
People purchase flowers at the City market in Nairobi as the world marked Valentines day. /MONICAH MWANGI
VALUES OVER ROMANCE
That isn’t to say that love does not feature in our stories, according to the admin of the popular @HistoryKE Twitter handle. They said: “I’m not privy to any in-depth love story. However, at the top of my head, I do know that colonial troops shot and wounded the mistress of a much-sought-after field marshal Mbaria Kaniu of the Mau Mau.
“Rather than flee and leave her behind, he chose to stay by her side and was captured as a result. At the time of capture, he was huddled protectively close to his mistress to shield her against being shot again.”
By and large, our ancient myths and stories served to strengthen our values. Our stories were filled with magic and anthropomorphised animals, each with their specific vice or virtue that was meant to teach us a lesson. Even those that involved some form of amorous attachment were lacking in romance elements.
For example, there is the story of ‘The Fire on The Hill’. In this tale, there exists a very cold lake visited only by the animals. Now there was a rich man with a beautiful daughter who announced that whoever spent the night in the cold lake would marry her.
A poor man who was in love with the rich man’s daughter decided that he would win her hand and take on the challenge. However, when he told his mother this, she said:
“No, no; you are my only son! The water in the lake is very cold and the animals will eat you up. Don't go there!"
But her son said, "Mother, don't cry. I must try. I love her so much!" So the young man went to the girl's father. He told him he wanted to go to the lake and stay in the cold water all night. The rich man sent his servants to a place where they could watch the young man.
Unbeknownst to the man, his mother had followed him and about 40 paces from where he was in the water, lit a fire to scare away the wild animals.
The man saw the fire and understood that his mother was there. When morning came, he went to the rich man's house.
The rich man saw him and said, "My servants say that there was a fire on a hill 40 paces from the lake. It warmed you and that is why you could stay all night in the water. So you cannot marry my daughter. Goodbye."
Angry, he went to see a judge who asked him to return with his mother and the rich man. The judge asked for a pot of cold water. Then he walked 40 paces from the pot and made a fire.
"Now," he said, "we shall wait a little until the water is warm."
The people cried, "But the fire is so far away, it cannot warm the water in the pot." Then the judge said, "And how could that young man warm himself at a fire 40 paces away?"
So the case was over and the young man married the rich man's daughter. They lived happily for many years.
Rose flowers on display at the City market in Nairobi as the world marked Valentines day. /MONICAH MWANGI
EPICS ABROAD
While there are other stories that are technically romantic stories, only due to the fact that they involve two people ending up together, they are made from the same mould. The love stories are lost in other “lessons” that are being learnt from the tale.
Travel out of Kenya, however, and the stories are vastly different. From West Africa, there is a story of a man who fell in love with a woman destined to be sacrificed to a deity. To save her, the warrior killed the god who took the form of a snake, which, while saving the lady, put a curse on the kingdom.
To the North, we have ancient Egypt, whose epic stories have fascinated the world for hundreds of years. Perhaps the most famous is that of Ramses the Great and his queen Nefertari. While he had 200 wives and concubines, Nefertari was said to be his favourite and the love of his life.
Love stories have entertained us almost as long as we have been able to record them. Our ancient civilisations had them and today, romantic movies, books and songs are some of the most popular forms of entertainment.
In the same way Disney affected a generation of girls with often-unrealistic expectations of love, epic love stories have shaped societies in some way or another.
And maybe Kenyans are the least romantic East Africans because we never had any epic love stories. Or maybe they were erased, as was a lot of our history, during the colonial times.
Either way, this day of love, it’s time Kenyans stepped up. And if you have any epic love stories, ancient, past or present, let us know what they are. It is our responsibility to save them for future generations.
Happy Valentine’s Day!