• She got pregnant with their second child during the pandemic and that was when things got bad in their union.
• At first, she attributed the constant quarrels they had to the economic constraints the pandemic brought with it and she hoped that things would get better with time.
Image: /SELINA TEYIE
When Mueni (not her real name) one day woke up to find herself lying in a hospital bed, she knew that she would have to make a crucial decision in her life.
The 33-year-old knew that she would have to cut ties with her abusive husband and end their 12-year marriage.
She said the pain she experienced in her marriage she would not wish upon anyone, not even her worst enemy.
“We were happily married for ten years. We had a son who is now 12 and everything was good,” she said.
She got pregnant with their second child during the pandemic and that was when things got bad in their union.
“He began to hit me while I was pregnant and I would not make a fuss about it because I had no job and he was the sole provider in the house,” she said.
At first, she attributed the constant quarrels they had to the economic constraints the pandemic brought with it and she hoped that things would get better with time.
However, once she gave birth to her child, things got worse for her as she realised that her husband did not want to have another child.
“He would leave for work early in the morning without leaving any money for food. I was breastfeeding so my baby was alright but I was breastfeeding on an empty stomach,” she said.
Her eldest child would come home from school at lunchtime and find that there was no food. The husband would also come home from work and demand food.
“If there was no food, he would beat me up,” she said.
Mueni had nobody to turn to as she was an orphan raised by her grandmother.
She said that her husband constantly used this against her, telling her that her old grandmother could not take her in with her children.
She decided to look for odd jobs in her area only two months after having her baby.
“I started washing clothes in our neighbourhood. I would carry my baby along, lay her on the ground as I washed clothes. When she cried, some people would be kind enough to carry her for me while others watched me helplessly,” she said.
With the small money from washing clothes, Mueni would buy food for the family along with some necessities for the baby.
Unfortunately, her husband did not take kindly to this.
“He would beat me up when he found there was food in the house as well, asking me where I got the money from. I would hide any food we had left after cooking and make sure all the dishes were clean before he came home to avoid any altercations with him,” she said.
At six months old, her child fell sick and she had no money to take her to the hospital.
That day she went out in search of her husband and met him in the street.
She told him that she needed money to take the baby to the hospital urgently.
“I remember him looking at me with so much anger and hatred and then, he attacked me. Right there in the street. He sprung at my neck and I dropped the baby. People came to intervene and he said it was a marital dispute,” she said.
Mueni was bleeding profusely while her baby was screaming in pain because she had fallen and hurt her arm.
A well-wisher came to the rescue and took her and the baby to the hospital.
He also paid her hospital bill and then left her Sh1,000.
Fortunately, x-ray tests found that her baby had no serious damages but Mueni had to get several stitches on her head.
She was then introduced to counselors from the Center for Rights Education and Awareness (CREAW) to help her deal with the emotional toll of the attack.
“I had really given up on everything. I had made up my mind that after leaving the hospital, I would go and kill my baby because I felt that she was the cause of my anguish,” she said.
After speaking to the counselor, she put the thought completely out of her mind and decided instead that she would start a new life alone with her children.
She filed a P3 form against the man and after being summoned by their area Chief, Mueni said that he became scared and left her alone.
“I left the hospital and went to look for a new house. I did not go back to my husband’s house to take anything. I had to leave my eldest son there as I figured things out. I didn’t even have money to pay rent or buy food but I was determined to have peace for myself and my children,” she said.
Mueni and her baby slept on cardboard boxes in the empty house for a week before she went and took her son from her husband’s house when he was not around.
“I kept on washing clothes. We bought cooked food and ate from our hands as we had no utensils,” she said.
Her son had to stop going to school for some time because she had no money to pay his school fees.
CREAW counselors visited her often to check on her well-being and during the pandemic, they disbursed Sh7,000 to her every month for three months for upkeep.
Image: /SELINA TEYIE
She bought a mattress, a few sufurias, and a cooking stove.
“After getting a few lessons from CREAW about starting a business, I decided to start one with some of the up-keep money”
“I realised that where I live in Pipeline, Embakasi, a lot of people boil cereals like beans and Githeri so, I bought a sack of charcoal and began selling from my house,” she said.
She said that her business was not doing very well because she had never done business before but she received more training from CREAW and her profits began to increase.
“From what we were taught, I started to put my money in records to keep track of my spending,” she said.
Image: /SELINA TEYIE
Mueni was also able to take her son back to school as she could now afford to pay for his school fees.
CREAW acknowledged her resilience and gave her a Sh30,000 grant under their Jasiri fund which she used to start a chicken business and secure a place to run the business.
She said that although she is still young and has no intentions of getting married again because her only focus now is her children and her well-being.
She encouraged women to have the courage to leave when their well-being was at risk, for the well-being of their children as well.
“My baby girl is now two years old. She had become so used to seeing me cry and she would cry along with me. I knew it would be bad for her growth and development. Now she is such a happy child, I thank God,” she said.