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September 20, 2018

Why did the chicken cross the road in 2015?

Why did the chicken cross the road in 2015?
Why did the chicken cross the road in 2015?

“Niaje wasee. Now the chicken crossed the road because, errr, apparently it wanted to see, errr, this grass that the Nairobi governor, what is his name? Kidero? Yes Kidero, who grew grass for my visit that I never got to see. Lucky chicken that.” ~ President Barack Obama 

 

“Buongiorno. They say that "Corruption is something that eats you inside like sugar. It's sweet, we like it, it's easy. And then we end up sick and poor. So much sugar that we either end up being diabetic or own country ends up being diabetic. The chicken was looking for some sugar." ~ Pope Francis

 

“Mandugu zanguni na madada zanguni, this chicken is a prime example of the visionary way my government has been running our hotbed of progress as a nation. With this in mind, my government plans to use the chicken's endevour as a symbol as we introduce the ChickenBond to raise funds to finish the Standard Gauge Railway currently in construction. There shall be a fuller briefing when I return from my ten country tour in a month.” ~ Uhuru Kenyatta (President)

 

“This chicken was looking for a good place to lay its eggs and hatch them. No chicken in the country should go without the opportunity to lay and hatch an egg safely in this day and age. We therefore introduce the Beyond Zero: Chicken Edition with its mobile clinic.” ~ Margaret Kenyatta (First Lady)

 

“We have established that the chicken and its accomplices are behind the Chicken Feed Scam at the ministry of agriculture. The chicken had no choice but to cross the road as we were in the process of tabling documents at the ethics and anti-corruption commission implicating it in the scam. Stay vigilant Kenyans.” ~ Jacob Juma, (Whistle blower)

 

“The chicken was crossing the road to the Intergrity Centre to answer to charges that have been levelled against it. It was interviewed and the information forwarded to a team of investigators and is being treated as his statement on the matter. In the event the commission requires more clarification from the chicken, we shall request it to do so.” ~ Halakhe Waqo (Chief Executive Officer, Ethics and Anti Corruption Commission)

 

“I want to know about where this chicken is crossing to. Is it crossing and using allowances and expensive tickets while other chickens on the first side are suffering? Especially when there is a chicken ambassador on the other side of the road to handle matters?” ~ John Pombe Magufuli (President, Tanzania)

 

“I have hired yet another finance minister to ensure that the chicken matter are dealt with conclusively. He has promised to allocate 100 million twenty eleven hundred thousand million and seven thousand million Rand to the budget to deal with this matter.” ~ Jacob Zuma, (President, South Africa)

 

“The chicken was tired of waiting for me to select my cabinet of ministers. Fortunately now I have chosen my team the chicken has crossed back to our side.”  ~ Muhammadu Buhari (President, Nigeria)

 

 “The chicken crossed the road a long time ago when it was a different time and it had different information. Surely the chicken can be forgiven for crossing the road then if other chickens have been forgiven for even worse sins?” ~ Musalia Mudavadi, (Former minister)

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