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February 19, 2019

Valentine, on call: Without proff, is it love?

Without proff, is it love?
Without proff, is it love?

Does a guy love you if he doesn’t keep photos and messages of you on his phone? We are in a long-distance and long-term relationship…

Ouch! This is a tough one. I hear fear and justifiable suspicion. The real issue is the not the messages or pictures, rather the lack of proof that you exist in his life. Given the fact that your relationship is long-distance, the adage “out of sight, out of mind” can’t be far from your thoughts. We hear regularly that cheaters delete messages, photos and other proof of their infidelity from their phones in case their real spouses go through their phones.

That said, different people express themselves and their love differently. Before you throw your relationship and your love away, you have to speak to this man. Ask him what this means and if it means anything at all. Do not ambush him. In fact, all you might have to say is that you would like to see more of you in his space, like a picture of you in the living room or by his bedside. You can say that you noticed he doesn’t have messages from you on his phone and then ask him why he deletes them. You could also send him a few pictures of yourself and ask him to pick one as a screen saver. He might respond to your queries but if he chooses not to, there isn’t much you can do.

If you are unsatisfied with what he does after the hints and requests, then you can carry out your own sleuthing. Random drive-bys or drop-ins to his house will work wonders. You could also stop by his office.

We assume that our partners are like us, but the truth is that they are entirely different people. Assuming that there is an ulterior motive to his actions, or that he is out to hurt you, is detrimental to your entire relationship. People just do what they do, perhaps it hasn’t occurred to him to display pictures of you all over his life.

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