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December 16, 2018

G Spot: This week I’m taking the proverbial quite literally

I was thinking about a friend who is bent on a course of revenge with her ex, when it struck me that soon, certain wise sayings or proverbs will be redundant.

My friend’s revenge is taking her down a dark road, and if she has her way,  the fellow she is taking it out on will have lost everything and could end up doing her in as he will have nothing to lose.

In counselling my pal about her revenge plot, I’m thinking I should use one of what another friend refers to as my ‘little homilies’ and say something cliché, such as: “When you set out for revenge, be sure to first dig two graves.”

This is where the problem arises. Not my use of an overused maxim, but the dictum itself.

I recently read of a new way to dispose of the dead.  Burial as we know it is becoming more and more of a problem, as there is less and less space left. In Kenya, where we don’t have many public cemeteries and people prefer to be buried on their ancestral land, I’ve heard of homesteads that resemble cemeteries and little or no farming can be done.

Cremation may be picking up, but as people yearn to be even more environmentally consciously, there is a new way to dispose of dead bodies.

In the words of the article I was reading, the new option is dissolving bodies in an alkaline solution. It is called alkaline hydrolysis, but it is being marketed as “green cremation”.

If this takes off, burial and cremation may get left behind, and in a generation or two, talk of digging graves as in the revenge proverb, will sound as archaic as building a pyramid.

So maybe what I’ll advise my friend to do is to make sure she is insured up to the gills, so that if the revenge plot goes awry and the fellow ends her life after she destroys his, at least her children will be left with something.

Of course, the best counsel would be to abandon the revenge plot and leave it to karma or the universe or whatever she believes in. But somehow, I believe this particular lady is not for turning in this matter, at least not yet.

Meanwhile, at the risk of sounding like Mathew “there is an old African saying…” (from Desmonds the TV show) with the extinction of the elephant still a real possibility in my lifetime, another aphorism I may have to forgo is that old African adage that states: An elephant never tires of its tusks.

For future generation elephants may be just as unimaginable as dinosaurs are for some today, more’s the pity.

Finally, just because you are the friend of a friend on Facebook doesn’t mean I subscribe to the Congolese proverb that states: The friends of our friends are our friends. Maybe it’s time that platitude was put to bed, as I am quite fed up with having to decline “friend requests” from strangers. After all, the stranger has “big eyes” but “does not know the by-ways”.

Poll of the day