I feel a little groggy this morning. I definitely did not sleep well. First, thereâs that business with Mr N. Itâs anyoneâs guess why heâs upset with me. One minute, we are cuddling, the next, he is slamming the door after him.
Secondly, I slept late after reading through Ericâs online account of the one time I tried something kinky with him. Ok. I may have taken things a little far, but I feel he overreacted.
Thirdly, itâs damn near impossible to get a good nightâs sleep these days with all the mosquitos constantly buzzing around, just waiting for the opportunity to suck the life out of you. Where have they come from? Itâs like thereâs an invasion in Nairobi.
I remember reading somewhere about male genetically modified mosquitoes being released in huge numbers into the air (males donât bite humans) so they can mate with the females, who then blow up or something. Seriously. The males are carrying something (like an STD) that messes with the femaleâs eggs.
Iâm skeptical. Every time science starts being a know-it-all, something goes wrong. And please note that these Western scientists have been using Africans as guinea pigs for the longest time. Iâll bet the males they released have somehow mutated and can now carry eggs and are the ones feasting on us.
How can you explain how emboldened mosquitos have become? They have become immune to insecticides and the only way to get rid of them is armed with a book or newspaper. They used to hide away before but now they come up to your face, buzz around, taunting you. Itâs like theyâre saying: âWhat you gonna do, bitch?â
I even saw one sitting on the mosi kill things that you plug into the wall. It sat there unfazed for 10 minutes then came to buzz around my face again. What sorcery is this? Leaving the light on helps, I have found, so I do that every night. Unfortunately, Iâm one of those people who like darkened rooms when I sleep, so with that compromise comes waking up feeling like a freight train went over me.
Coffee will help. I turn on the kettle and place two tablespoons into my coffee plunger. The best part of my day is always my morning coffee. A text message comes through as I pour the hot water to mix with the black roast. Itâs Mr N. He has target No. 4 ready. The information is in my email. I slowly stir two sugars into my coffee after it has brewed a couple of minutes and I take it to the sofa where I left my laptop. I turn it on and take a sip as it boots up. It tastes great.
Target No. 4 is an Arab. He has a thing for black girls and will be an easy mark. I send a text message to Mr. N.
Me: Arenât they allowed four wives? Who cares if he cheats?
Him: Itâs not his wife thatâs the problem. Itâs his mistress he wouldnât want to piss off.
Him: He is in love with her.
Me: Ha ha.
Him: Did I say something funny?
Me: Yes. Love is so abstract in these situations. How can he be so in love yet cheat?
Him: Who says the two things are mutually exclusive?
Me: Why would you cheat if youâre in love?
Him: To bust a nut.
Him: Men can have sex with absolutely no feelings or emotions.
Me: I get that. But if you are in love, would you not reject being intimate with someone else?
Him: I could ask you the same thing.
Him: Yes, you. Do you have feelings for anyone?
Me: (slight pause) Well, umâ¦
Him: Yes or no?
Him: And are you about to sleep with someone else?
Him: Case closed.
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