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September 19, 2018

Frank and I catch up on the latest movies

Allergic contact dermatitis occurs when your skin comes into direct contact with an allergen. I’ve always had sensitive skin and can only wear precious metals. Gold or silver is fine. Anything else is an allergen. It has caused me grief over the years – I can’t go to Maasai market and pick up any of their lovely ornaments. But today, for once in my life I’m grateful for my skin disorder. The rosary I have placed around my neck has caused me to develop red, bumpy, scaly, itchy and swollen skin. It’s so bad that the hickey blends in and is no longer discernible. Perfect.

I remove the beads from around my neck and place them back into my bedside drawer. Now I’m ready to meet Frank.

“Baby, what happened?” he asks when he sees my botched up skin. “Don’t tell me you wore a necklace!”

“Guilty!” I respond. “It went so well with an outfit I had that I could not resist.”

“You naughty girl,” he says and spanks my bottom gently.

He really cares for me, this man. I wish I could love him back. I just… Don’t.

“What do you want to do today?” I ask moving away from him.

“I was thinking we could see a movie?” he responds holding out a DVD. It has CREED emblazoned on it.

“Great! I’ve been wanting to see that,” I say. “The critics are loving it.”

Creed is the latest installment from the Rocky series. Don’t roll your eyes, I know after the first three Rocky films (which were awesome), Sylvester Stallone should have called it a day but he kept going and going… With every storyline unfortunately getting more and more bizarre. I stopped watching by five but I think there may have been a Rocky six or seven. What a train wreck.

Creed, even though a continuation of sorts of the original film, was not written by Stallone. Thank God. It chronicles the life of Apollo Creed’s son, training to be a boxer and getting the help of whom else? The great Rocky Balboa. If you are of the dot.com generation that has not seen the Rocky series, get the first one through to three. They are quite good.

Frank pops it into the DVD machine and we curl up on my sofa to watch it. It’s a pretty good movie. For once I agree with the critics. It’s realistic, engaging and best of all, you get to find out who beat who in the last friendly fight (closing scene of Rocky 3).

“Another one?” Frank asks as the closing credits roll. I nod and stretch out languidly on the sofa as he places another movie into the DVD machine. His next choice is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s new movie By The Sea. Frank lies beside me. “I got this one especially for you. I know how much you like this guy,” he says.

Indeed, I’m a huge Brad Pitt fan. I think I’ve watched all of his movies. Having said that, I’d like to save you the trouble and let you know that you should never, under any circumstances, ever bother watching this film. I don’t care how big a fan you may be of either of these two actors but no amount of love can save this disaster of a film. It is…tedious. Watching a movie should not be hard work. By the 40th minute Frank and I can’t take it anymore. Absolutely NOTHING happens. The film is written and directed by Angelina Jolie, which explains why her husband agreed to act in it. Perhaps no else would?

“Got any blue movies?” Frank asks as he removes the exceedingly dull film from the machine.

“Ya, somewhere…” I say vaguely.

“Come on babe!” he says.

 “No…” I say, scrunching up my face.

He starts to tickle me… 

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