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September 18, 2018

Can porn make me frigid?

“Valentine, a friend of mine has been watching porn since Form Two and now she is in university. She was wondering if it can lead to impotence.”


I love it when nice people ask questions for their ‘friends’ :).

First of all, let us get the terminology right – impotence is the inability to attain or sustain an erection during sex. Your friend does not have a penis so the word does not apply. Women who are sexually unresponsive are said to be frigid. If your friend has been watching porn for years, I am pretty sure it is because she responds to it and enjoys it. So I highly doubt she is frigid.

Pornography is a sexual fantasy being acted out on film. We forget that it is a fantasy especially when we are not too sexually experienced. Porn can therefore create outlandish expectations of what human beings actually look like – hairless adults, beer bottle sized penises and huge immobile breasts are simply not the norm.

Also, when regular people have sex, it usually doesn’t involve a weird soundtrack, women having an orgasm within two minutes and men lasting forever before finally spraying ejaculate all over their partners.

People have tried to make the case that porn is harmless and even educational entertainment. But studies show that this is simply not true. For example, people who watch porn several times a week are more likely to cheat on their partners.

Young people who learn how to have sex from watching porn expect their partners to comply with these behaviours. Porn will also not teach you how to have tender sex during which you talk to your partner and revel in their pleasure as much as your own.

While pornography will not make your ‘friend’ impotent or frigid, it could impact her self-esteem and body image and this, in turn, will impact her enjoyment of sex. Even porn stars do not look like porn stars in real life.

If she is worried, ask her to cut down on her porn watching and interact more with real people. Sex is after all best when had, not watched on screen.

Poll of the day