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January 22, 2019

Help: I am a two minute man

Hello Valentine,

There is something that has been bothering me.  During sex, is it normal for a man to last about 30 minutes in the second and third rounds, but during the first one, not even last two minutes? Please help?


First of all Larry, you are completely normal. When it comes to sex some people say the first round is for the guy and the second is for the woman.  This is because almost all men have a harder time controlling their first ejaculation, but in subsequent rounds, their bodies take longer to achieve orgasm. They therefore find it easier to concentrate on their partners’ pleasure in round two.

That said, two minutes is on the shorter side.  Most of us like to think that we have sex for hours but the truth is actually intercourse takes about 10 minutes.  If you add 20 minutes of foreplay before it, and another 10 for cuddling and recuperating after mutual orgasms, then you see how an entire sex session might last 40 minutes.

But back to you and your two minutes: you have to figure out what turns you on the most and save it for round two or three.  Does manual manipulation of your penis send you over the edge?  Is there a position that works wonders?  I don’t know if you are using condoms but if not, consider using one for the first round.  It will diminish sensation and pleasure for you, allowing you to last longer.

Our breath helps us to control our arousal and excitement. Try breathing slowly and deeply as soon as you begin intercourse.  Also, a guy once said to me ‘each man has a pump count’ meaning that you can only thrust in one position for so long before you reach your climax. So try changing positions when you get super excited, or simply stop for a few breathes.

Ask your partner to form a ring around the base of your scrotum (balls) using her thumb and index finger and to give your scrotum a gentle tug when you are about to orgasm. You have to be verbal about your excitement and she has to do the tugging very quickly.  This will be hard to synchronize but it is very effective.

When it comes to sex, we often wonder if we are normal, if we are doing it right, if we are pleasing our partners, if we look good and sound good while we are doing it… the truth is, a lot of our sexual response is involuntary.  Hard penises, wet vaginas, hard nipples, arching backs, sweating, moaning and groaning… it is involuntary.  Larry, relax and enjoy your body and that of your partner.  You both have idiosyncrasies and you will make slight adjustments to accommodate each other and create a pleasure filled sex life for both of you.

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