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February 19, 2019

Be careful what job you ask for, you just might get it

It is encouraging to note that the county governments have started to show the strength of their workforce and the visions of their leaders. Not once have we mentioned the challenges facing the transition and the inability of some few to grasp the real meaning of a devolved government.

First it was squabbles about who is senior between the governor and the senator. It has not died down even now, but the tone is bearable to say the least. Next it was the big vehicles for the governors, flags and escorts. For some, that has webbed away while for others, it has stuck with them.

The seniority of the two positions has now been established. Those that have demonstrated a remarkable leadership quality are the seniors, without the mention of rank. I still think I want to be in Machakos when I want to change my business. I have not heard any cries from the county about excessive or ridiculous tax regime. All I have heard are praises for their governor and his working team.

When others are taxing even the dead and chicken, Brother Alfred is performing miracles for free to his charges. I have heard of soft praises coming from Nyeri also and I can mention our own governor in Kajiado, Nkedianye. after noticing some good work going on within the road networks in our area of Ongata Rongai and Kiserian. When I look at the long list of county leaders who are not performing, or those who have performed retrogressively, I cannot fail to notice one major handicap. Most of them are intellectually challenged.

It is not lost to a keen observer that they won their seats using well known “voter attracting gimmicks” other than outlining what visions they had for their counties or a manifesto. Only when they sat down to work did they discover what they have on their hands. For some, it was a piece of cake. They knew their mandate and were more than willing to get to work. For others, it was a nightmare.

They did not know where to begin, and how. They have been groping in the darkness ever since, some making a mockery of the office of governor. Knowledge is power. There was this man who lived in a little town. The town had a small pub where the town dwellers would meet after work to unwind and do a little pep talk over a cold beer. There was also a pool table in the middle of the bar where revellers would challenge each other for an eight-ball billiard game.

Among the most frequent visitors to the pub, was a guy who lived alone not far from the pub. He kept a pet monkey to keep him company at home. Each day, he would drive straight home from work, to feed the monkey. After a short power nap, he would hoist the monkey onto his shoulders and walk to the pub to join his friends and sign the daily attendance register, which was basically a cold beer in his customised beer mug.

This man was a very good billiard player. His pet monkey enjoyed every game he played and won because the loser would be made to buy a beer for the winner, and a packet of cashew nuts for the monkey. One day though, he lost his game. Since the monkey was used to his master starting all the games as the winner, he got confused this time round when he saw the other person taking the white ball to start the game.

He came down the shoulders of his master, grabbed the white ball and, to the shock of all watching, swallowed it. The competitors just stopped playing, and bought a lot of nuts for the monkey to go to toilet. It was the only way out.

Several days later, our man was in the pub with his little monkey. He was playing pool. Sometimes he won, sometimes he lost. But the monkey would take no part in the game. The monkey completely ignored the white ball whether it was on their side or the other. He had his nuts in a bowl though. But each time he picked his nuts to eat, he would shove one inside his anal opening before eating it. This disgusted the other revelers so much that they had to ask the owner to explain or take the monkey away. The man said about his pet monkey’s behaviour, “After the ordeal of having to remove the white ball from the rear end, my monkey has to make sure that what goes though the mouth, can comfortably come out though the other end.” Be careful when you ask for a particular kind of a job. You might get it.

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