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November 16, 2018

I have almost come full circle

It feels like a millennium since I began writing this column concerning my boys. As God would have it the number of subjects have since grown from two to three. I am now the proud mother of an emerging teenager, a bonafide ‘tween’ (pre-teen), and a baby. The challenge of balance is very real for both Tony and I as we strive to guide all three towards their destiny. Sometimes I watch all three boys at play, one is grinning toothless, another is missing some teeth while the third has most of his teeth and realise I’ve almost come full circle.

Tj stands at the precipice waiting to become a grown man, gone are the days when mommy knew all. Sometimes I moan as I realise that the days when I was the chief influencer are long gone and that the part of the journey left for him, daddy will be the main companion as I cheer on from the sidelines. I know that sounds like a dire prediction, but I see the reality as he gravitates more to dad to be shown how to manage his new challenges. That is as it should be and I am so glad that Tony is more than available for him; yet a part of me moans the little one who was totally dependent on me.

The days when mommy was the start all and end all.Toriah stands in the middle torn between his desire to move on and the pull to stay put. Sometimes he wants a hug sometimes he is too ‘mature’ for such childish displays. At ten his greatest achievement yet as far as he is concerned is hitting the double digits. No longer does he scram up my knee for a cuddle or a story rather he is fascinated with the world of digital play and is more ‘techno’ than his mommy.

Having a baby third time round is a real pleasure, all the joys seem multiplied and the stresses halved. I guess a part of me realises that this may very well be the last time I hold my own little one in my arms and so I am milking it for all its worth. At four months of age, Thayu has just began to smile and watching his toothless grin is magical. I love the looks of absolute adoration as he gazes at me while feeding, the feel of his little hands in mine; total trust. I even enjoy the long nights and endless diaper changes. Being an older mom, third time round, I am more patient and tolerant of little discomforts. I can see the bigger picture and recognise that this too shall pass. In the meantime I must make every minute count.

So once more I begin another chapter in this journey called parenting. The benefit baby Thayu has is that all the drama with his elder brothers have yielded the fruit of patience in his typical personality- A mom. I know now that all things are possible with God on my side. With a little patience, lots of love and a million prayers, he too shall one day be standing on the precipice waiting to enter into the alien world of grownups. I know I will have prepared him well, I can tell from his brothers.

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