There is nothing set in stone as far as how we live is concerned.
Everything changes be it our diet, our clothing or even our language and fortunately, many societies allow for change which is seen as inevitable. Language is one of the things that change the most.
The Oxford dictionary which is one of the most respected in the English language for instance adds new words that have entered into use every year. Last year alone saw the addition of ‘selfie’ (a self-portrait photograph taken with a digital camera or mobile phone) and ‘Twerking’ which is defined in the Urban dictionary as “The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal”.
Even the Kiswahili language has not been left behind as every year, words such as ‘barua pepe’ (email), ‘kipepesi’ (fax) and ‘mtandao’ (internet) have become part of the language in recent times.
Perhaps we too should consider adding new words and idioms to our formal conversations.
These are words that we throw around quite often but we do not consider them formal enough as they are still very new.
Here are some of those words.
‘Fundamentals’ was initially used in a song going by the same name by popular singer Ken Wa Waria.
The song has four lines in the whole track; “These are the things/ these are my things/ these are your things/ these are the fundamentals.” This song has seen some Nairobi guys use the term when referring to the mostdesired parts of the female anatomy. Why stop there? From now the term ‘fundamentals’ should be formally recognised as anything that refers to a relationship between a man and a woman. Use in speech; “We got married and after the fundamentals we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy.”
2. I will die
Its January and people are looking for people who owe them money and avoiding those they owe like the plague. When a creditor eventually gets hold of you and demands their money, this trick will come in handy. The phrase “I’d rather die” was once famous, or infamous but it no longer is. You need to follow the example of one of the police chiefs who said he might die if he is sacked. Use in speech: “I will die if you insist that I pay you that Sh350 I borrowed from you last January.”
3. I was misadvised
It’s not just grown-ups that need an excuse to escape a tough situation. Children in this city also find themselves in these circumstances. There’s hope for the children though - our leaders have already set a cute example. If they find themselves too engrossed in watching Ben10 or Hannah Montana that they fail to do homework or a house chores, the best way to escape from punishment is to say, “I was misadvised about how long this programme is.”
4. The billboard did it
Some us us might have found themselves in this situation. You did something wrong and you desperately want to cover up. Perhaps you’ve been busted by your significant other engaging in ‘fundamentals’ with someone else. It is impossible to hide behind the “It wasn’t me” argument. What to do? Blame it on the nearest billboard. Use in speech: “That was a billboard that was photographed by the private detective on that material day. “That billboard is also the reason I lost my phone and watch.
Venue Review: Slim’s restaurant, Lenana Road
At the point where Lenana Road meets Ralph Bunche Road in Kilimani lies what can only be described as one of Nairobi’s best places to drink and eat; Slim’s Restaurant. The restaurant is not very well known as it is not easy to access via public transport despite being close to Valley Road.
The first thing I noted as I walked in one Saturday evening was that it would be hard for my wheelchair bound friends to access it. You need to climb up a flight of stairs that would not be very friendly to those who need to propel themselves on wheels.
Away from that little issue, this is one of the better places I have encountered in Nairobi. The place is quite small; a little sunken counter in the centre and several booths around it.
There were several seats of the leather variety where one could sit with a few friends or an intimate date. I love sitting at the counter so I headed there and ordered a cold Tusker which was going at Sh320. The price can be quite terrifying especially when we are bang at the middle of January.
The options here are quite diverse for those who love more than lager with a large selection of wines and fine whiskeys. The one thing that everyone has been raving about this place is the honey-glazed pork but with my brokeness I was very pleased that I had come already fed.
The crowd here looked young and upwardly mobile. It had a healthy mix of ladies and gents - a reporter would find this place ideal to show that Kenya is hip and happening. The waiter told me that one of the most popular evenings was Tuesday as this was the night that Different Faces band came to perform. I am not a big jazz fan but I appreciate the art so I made a mental note to check it out one of these days; after payday of course.
A quick recap of the venue
Good: World class service, excellent décor, clean washrooms.
Bad: Disability unfriendly, pricey, inaccsessible through public transport.
My verdict: It is ideal for a date especially when you need to impress someone or when meeting friends.