Being mommy third time round feels so different. The challenges and happenings are definitely the same but I guess my attitude isn’t. Somehow in the back of my mind I realise that this is probably the last time I go through this and so I have more grace. I read Bill Cosby’s book Fatherhood a few years back and I remember him sharing about his fifth born child and how everything seemed so much easier because at the back of his mind he knew that this was the last time he had to endure this particular episode. I guess you could call it finishing grace.
As I write this I am bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. I had forgotten that in the first couple of months the baby’s internal clock is very
different and that day time and night time seems interchanged. Baby will be blissfully sleeping all afternoon as I entertain visitors and
then spend the night half giggling half whining as I wear a path down my living room rug. Luckily for me, Tony has taken a month off work and so we take turns doing the night rounds. Somehow this time round it is not as maddening and I have quickly re-learnt to sleep with my ears wide open to mosquito buzzing and to balance the baby on the breast while in deep sleep sitting up.
But it is not only my attitude towards the night vigil that has changed. With both Tj and Toriah I could hardly wait for them to grow
up and go through the next stage, this time round I know just how fast time seems to pass and I am enjoying the moment more. I look at both Tj and Toriah and somehow I cannot really recall how it was when they were a month old and that realisation makes me cherish this time with Thayo before he too moves on to the next stage.
Lucky for us Thayo is not a fussy baby. I guess God in his ultimate mercy realised that going on forty I no longer have the energy to rock a baby infinitum or perhaps like I said earlier been there done that and so it doesn’t look so bad now, whatever the case I am grateful that I have learnt to sleep in snippets and allow his doting brothers to hold him and play with him as I read a book or catch up on a favourite programme. Something I would never have done with the other two.
All said Thayo has added a new lease of life in our journey as a family. It is amazing how we seemed complete before and yet cannot imagine life without him now. He has come and stamped his place in our space and as a family we are ever so excited about this second phase in our lives. Perhaps who knows it is time to write Carole’s Diary phase two… or is it reloaded. Lol