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January 20, 2019

At what level do you blow up?

We all have a certain tolerance level. As children, there’s only so much of cheek pulling we can take before we scream out and burst into tears of frustration because we are not able to throw a punch at anyone. As you grow older, you back-talk your parents, not because you’re being insolent but you’ve had enough of being ordered around like a slave and feel if you don’t speak up now you’ll end up running away from home or something. As adults, it’s again the vicious circle of family again and also work-mates.

You’re constantly being pushed and you keep dragging your feet along to keep the peace even though you’re reluctant to do what is being demanded, but because you’re Mr Nice Guy you give in and let it happen.

While you’re busy giving in, inside you the pressure of all this is building up and then guess what will happen. Yup! You’ll blow up like a pressure cooker and destroy everything around you.

I’m not here to tell you to calm down. I’d rather baptise a cat because I believe that will be easier. Telling someone who is already at a level of annoyance that you want to keep away from to calm down should be done at your own risk. This is not just applicable to women, by the way. People think its just women who have hormonal issues and get really angry or upset when told to calm down. It’s infuriating to be told that when you’re trying to get a point across rather passionately and you’re told to calm down.

I’m not going to tell you to meditate or count to ten or focus on the long term effects simply not because it’s not right but because it’s not something I can bring myself to practice no matter how hard I try. Breathing in deeply, counting to ten, visualising tranquillity and whatnot always evades me in time of need. My problem is also that I react very quickly but once I’ve got it out of my system, I’m good to go. I don’t carry forward grudges or harsh words that may have been uttered. I tend to forgive very quickly and often get bewildered why people don’t know how to let go and move on.

I’ve had a woman who didn’t speak to me for years on end because she thought I had insulted her brother. Honestly speaking I don’t even remember the incidence so I was a bit taken aback at this. Of course I apologised but right up to today I often wonder what it was that I might have said almost twenty years ago that was kept in the mind for so long. Funnily, her brother never stopped talking to me!

We all have a point that pushes our buttons to react negatively – I have mine too but I don’t carry grudges. I let go of things and try my best to move on. Staying stuck in the rut of bringing up forever how you have been wronged only ever ensures you stay stuck in that cycle. Have your rant, cry your eyes out, scream, wipe your nose on someone’s silk curtains but get on with it. Yes we all have a breaking point but don’t let it shatter you completely.

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