Let’s do a small, simple, question-answer exercise and we will be able to work out if you are a Mummy’s Boy.
Does your mother cook for you and hover around you doing everything for you even though you’re over 18?
Does your mother save you from getting yelled at by your father?
This is my favourite question: Does your mother hate your wife or vice versa?
Look, let’s just face it that it’s really very hard for a mother to let go of her children, especially her sons. For some unexplainable reason, there’s always this rather strong bond between mothers and their sons. It tends to get stronger with age and more so when their son gets married.
Allow me to share what I have observed over the years and experienced myself. When a woman finds out her son is dating, whether she admits or not, deep down there will be a pang of jealousy. Yes, I’m going to call it jealousy because this gets worse when her little boy becomes man enough to want to get married and poor mummy is sitting there hating on her son’s choice just because she feels he now loves his wife even more.
Many women proclaim that they are brilliant mothers-in-law, they get on really well with their son’s girlfriend and so on. But no one’s about to come out and admit she doesn’t like her son’s choice. This phenomenon is almost as rare as hen’s teeth.
While it’s ok for your mum to love you so much, dude, you need to style up a bit, especially if you are married. Give some love and respect to your wife/ partner. Your wife looks up to you as her knight in shining armour. Respect her, love her and cherish her. You will see that as long as you give her this respect without bowing down to pressure from your interfering mother, you will have a happy life.
Respect your wife enough to let her be the woman she is and not be the woman your mother wants her to be or you moulding her to mummy you. She is not your mother but your partner and if you have mummy issues get counselling for them. Your Oedipal complex needs severe help.
I’m not saying cut ties with your mother for the sake of your wife. No way. I’m just asking you to cut off the apron strings that unhealthily bind you to your mother. Have a healthy relationship with her; be able to tell her not to interfere in your marital life without being disrespectful. Also make sure the two women who mean the world to you understand your relationship with the other. You cannot cut off from your mother and you cannot abandon your wife. If you give enough attention and love to both parties, you will be a happy man. Also never allow these two women to bring their arguments to you. They should have the sense to sit down with each other and iron out their differences. It may be difficult but not impossible.