Why fathers should bond with their infants from birth

A father carrying his baby skin to skin to foster bonding

For long, many people in society have viewed bonding as primarily a mother’s responsibility, but fathers play an equally vital role in fostering emotional security and social well-being from the start of a baby’s life.

While mothers need to take care of the baby after birth, experts say fathers should be there to bond with their infants because both parents play different roles in the baby, which is clearly understood by the baby.

Experts say that the bonding period between a father and his infant is more than a tender moment; it is a foundation that shapes a child’s entire future.

Both science and experience confirm that meaningful engagement with babies aligns their developing brains and builds pathways of trust, confidence and resilience.

Naomi Mwangi, a nurse and lactation manager at Aga Khan University Hospital, says that bonding begins even before birth, perinatally, while the baby is still in the womb, meaning the connection parents cultivate starts early.

Naomi says: “Immediately following birth, skin-to-skin contact is crucial by placing the baby on the mother’s or father’s chest. This intimate contact triggers a flow of neurological and hormonal responses that reinforce the newborn’s sense of safety.”

She reiterates that it is not merely a sentimental practice but a scientifically supported foundation for healthy development.

Naomi jokingly says that mothers should be careful not to show agitation or frustration when they are pregnant because this is usually picked up by the baby and they show even while in the womb.

According to Naomi, the early relationship between a parent and their infant deeply influences how the child will navigate their emotional and social world in the years to come.

“Children raised with attentive, loving caregivers tend to grow into individuals who are emotionally balanced, able to form trusting relationships and equipped with the social skills necessary to interact confidently with peers.”

Naomi stresses that when fathers are actively involved from that first skin-to-skin moment through daily care routines, they build the child’s sense of security, providing a steady emotional understanding for life’s challenges.

As Naomi explains, the brain of an infant is flexible and to be moulded during the first three years. This enables them to forge millions of new brain connections every second.

“Positive bonding experiences stimulate the development of pathways linked to emotion regulation, learning and memory. Fathers who engage by holding, talking and playing with their babies help in aligning the brain to certain feelings,” she explains.

“This cognitive nurturing is enhanced by the hormone oxytocin, often called the ‘love hormone,’ which emanates both in the parents and the infant during close contact. Oxytocin not only promotes affectionate behavior and connection between parent and child but also helps to regulate stress, ensuring that babies feel safe and loved by their parents,” she adds.

Naomi further stresses that responsiveness to a baby’s needs is essential for building security and self-worth. Caregivers who consistently answer cries, soothe discomfort and meet hunger calls teach the baby that they are valued and protected.

Naomi points out that this reliability is the cornerstone of trust. A baby whose signals are acknowledged and met develops healthy self-esteem and confidence to explore the world. Neglect, on the other hand, can generate insecurity that lingers into adulthood, elevating the risk of stress-related and emotional disorders in the baby.

Apart from the bond created with fathers’ involvement in postnatal care, Naomi says that it can also lead to family stability because of the shared responsibility and a sense of togetherness in the family.

She says, “Fathers’ involvement in postnatal care matters tremendously. When a father holds or carries the baby, changes diaper or participates in feeding and play, the bond strengthens in ways that enrich the infant’s emotional environment and relieve strain on the mother. This shared caregiving also fosters familial stability, enhancing everyone’s well-being.”

According to her, the presence of a nurturing and attentive father not only boosts the infant’s sense of security but shapes the child’s future independence and social competence.

Practically, parents can nurture this bond every day through skin-to-skin contact, talking or singing to their baby, participating in routine care like feeding and bathing and engaging in gentle play. Even brief but consistent moments of attention accumulate, reinforcing a child’s emotional foundation.

This early investment has long-term advantages even beyond infancy. Secure bonds translate into better mental health, greater emotional regulation and healthier interpersonal relationships well into adulthood, as explained by Naomi.  

Mwangi passionately reminds parents that babies enter the world ready to trust that it is safe, and it is the responsibility of caregivers—especially fathers, who are often overlooked—to uphold this trust.