• The time Tembo found love was also the time he fell into a female boss's trap
As Inspector Tembo tends to his wife in a Nairobi hospital due to her recent cancer diagnosis, I make sure to call him at least once daily as a way of showing support.
“Chemo is a b***h,” he lamented to me today. “Pum’kin is already losing her hair. She’s always tired, can’t keep anything she eats down. And when she does, it won’t exit without a bunch of laxatives.”
“I’m so sorry, boss,” I told him. “I’ve been reading up on cancer. Most of those side-effects will go away soon. Some late effects might take longer, but she’ll be okay.”
“I want her okay now! I want my Pum’kin back.”
At a loss how to console him, I endeavoured to shift the focus of our conversation to a different topic.
“I loved the story you narrated to me the other day,” I said. “How you two met after she spilled soup on you at a conference in Naivasha.”
“Oh, the good old days.” He sounded relieved. “We were married two and a half weeks later.”
“But you also said she saved you from a bad experience you had the previous day.”
“I don’t wanna talk about that.”
“C’mon. Tell me, boss. It can’t be that bad.”
He sighed so hard I felt breath coming through the phone. Or maybe I just imagined it.
“Did you get the new directives from the Secretary of The Interior?” he asked. I was certain he was changing the topic. “The ones about officers, especially those of different ranks, not dating?”
“I did, sir.”
“Do you know why he did that?”
“Personally, I thought the Secretary had it in for me, and wanted me to die a bachelor. Sgt Sophia says it’s to stop abuse of power.”
“She’s a smart officer.”
“You mean she’s right?”
“If you recall correctly, that day I also told you I was the only Corporal at the conference. A superintendent had recommended my attendance. A female superintendent.”
“I had no clue my boss was a player.” I laughed. “A Superintendent? You were aiming high, weren’t you?”
“She approached me first. I was flattered. And a little scared. She was so much higher than me that it was hard to rebuff her, although she was married.”
“What!”
“Each day of the conference ended in an evening party. Open bar, no ranks, no rules. She encouraged me to have a drink and asked me for a dance. Like I said, I couldn’t refuse her. I woke up completely naked at three o’clock the following morning. In her bed!”
“Holy Molly!”
“I avoided her for the rest of the conference. She didn’t care to seek me out either. So, it worked out alright.”
“Had she drugged you?”
“I doubt it. I couldn’t handle alcohol those days. Leaning against a breweries lorry was enough to get me tipsy. But I know what you’re thinking. Did anything happen between us that night?”
“Did it?”
“A month later, she visited my station in Embakasi. She called me aside and told me I had been a raging bull that night. Then she apologised, and told me she and her husband had been married for eight years and were yet to have a child.”
“That’s no excuse! Unless you were okay with it?”
“Hell no!” Tembo clicked his mouth. “How could I when I had no idea it was happening?”
“Which begs the question. Did she get pregnant?”
“Frankly, I have no idea, son. But I’m glad the Secretary has issued those orders. Something like that wouldn’t have happened.”