I have read several articles or social media posts of adults complaining about other people’s children. The kind of children who show up to someone’s house and leave the aftermath of a hurricane behind.
The type of children who would make your journey on a plane or train unbearable. The type of children who behaved so badly that you would pray for the olden days of “those who are not disciplined by the mother are disciplined by the world”.
The worst part about it is not even the out-of-control child. The worst part is the unbothered parent who believes we must all suffer as he or she does. That their child’s spoiled behaviour is simply a journey of discovery for a curious mind. Unfortunately for us, we are in the era of gentle parenting, which means we have a higher chance of meeting such children out in public spaces.
Gentle parenting is a cockamamie term coined by millennial parents in an attempt to undo their own childhood traumas by letting their kids live a life they had wished for. These young parents with a noggin full of bright, untested ideas are the reason teachers have to deal with unruly and uncooperative kids in the classroom. They are also the reason some of us have a harder time with our parenting as our children are exposed to these ill-mannered kids in different environments.
My child is a black child in a majority white environment, I am not sure if race plays a factor in these behaviours, but there have been some instances where I can’t help but question it. In places like the park or indoor play zones, I have found myself having to come to my son’s defence as the older, entitled children ask him to not touch or play with something, or just shoo him away. Why? It’s a public space, my child is as entitled to play with something as you are.
With my own child, I have severe anxiety visiting other people’s homes as I am constantly behind him, making sure he doesn’t destroy anything. Even at parks, I run after him as he tries to play with a toy belonging to another child. I hold him back as I repeat that we do not touch what is not ours. No matter how much he cries.
Some mothers are kind enough to tell me “it’s okay, he can play with it”, but most of the time I would drag him out of the place just to send the message.
