• For many of us, Messi established himself as the nonpareil long ago. Messi versus Ronaldo is beauty versus power.
• Sure, Ronaldo scored his 600th goal last week, a few days before Messi scored his 600th with that stupendous free-kick that condemned Liverpool to a 3-0 defeat in Barcelona.
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‘Some choices are easy,’ the great American sports columnist Rick Reilly once wrote. ‘You’re either a dog guy or a cat guy. Red state or blue. Letterman or Leno. Same with Tiger Woods versus Phil Mickelson. There’s no in between. If you love Phil, you hate Tiger. Or vice versa. Can’t be both.’
More than a decade on, we can trace our own lines of demarcation. Some choices are easy. You’re either Leave or Remain. Town or country. Game of Thrones or Line of Duty. Avocado toast or full English. Same with Lionel Messi versus Cristiano Ronaldo. There’s no in between.
Sure, we can say we like them both. We can say we’re privileged to have the two of them playing in the same era. You know what, I’ve done it myself. But deep down, we’re one or the other. Either we identify with the darting, dribbling, genius of selfless, shuffling little Leo or the Terminator-chic and towering self-regard of the cyborg CR7.
The borders of our allegiances were fortified last week when Messi transformed an uncertain Barcelona performance against Liverpool into a comprehensive victory with a free-kick of such stunning brilliance that it left mouths agape all over the world and those of us who were there in the stadium staring at each other in astonishment.
For many of us, Messi established himself as the nonpareil long ago. Messi versus Ronaldo is beauty versus power. It is modesty versus arrogance. It is selflessness versus selfishness. It is curves versus straight lines. It is the joy of the assist versus the obsession with the finish.
And yet still we are divided like night and day over who is the best. To Messi fans, it beggars belief that some may still champion Ronaldo but they do. ‘Which you are,’ as Reilly says of the split between Tiger Guys and Phil Guys, ‘says more about you than you know.’
There are some things we think we know. A Ronaldo fan works out. A Ronaldo fan drinks protein shakes at the gym. A Messi fan plays five-a-side. And then goes for a beer afterwards. A Ronaldo fan wears a sleeveless top. A Messi fan wears a vintage shirt.
A Ronaldo fan drives a car with personalised plates. A Messi fan gets the bus. A Messi fan closes a deal at work and gives the credit to a co-worker. A Ronaldo fan closes a deal at work and knocks on his boss’s door the next day to demand a pay rise.
A Ronaldo fan hogs the bathroom for so long his flat-mates have to hammer on the door and tell him his hair looks fine. A Messi fan goes out without looking in the mirror. A Ronaldo fan wears sunglasses when it’s dark. A Messi fan wears pyjamas when it’s dark.
A Messi fan hangs out in the kitchen at parties. A Ronaldo fan is first on the karaoke machine. A Messi fan buys the drinks. A Ronaldo fan drinks the drinks. And doesn’t say thank you. The rest of us exist for him. A Messi fan acts like he’s attained nirvana when he watches his idol (see Gary Lineker and Rio Ferdinand). A Ronaldo fan stomps and postures like he’s got roid rage. A Ronaldo fan likes Bond. A Messi fan likes Bourne. A Messi fan wears a velvet glove. A Ronaldo fan pounds an iron fist.
You think that’s unfair, don’t you? I can tell. But the truth is that if you prefer Ronaldo over Messi, you’re missing something in your life. I’m with Mario Balotelli on this one: it’s got to the point where putting Ronaldo in the same conversation as Messi is just plain daft. The truth is, Messi’s out on his own.
Sure, Ronaldo scored his 600th goal last week, a few days before Messi scored his 600th with that stupendous free-kick that condemned Liverpool to a 3-0 defeat in Barcelona. But the Spice Girls had more UK No1 singles than the Rolling Stones. It doesn’t mean they were a better band.
Sure, maybe it’s not the ideal time for me to be impartial about this one: to be high in the stands at Camp Nou on Wednesday night was to be privileged to watch another landmark in Messi’s greatness. It wasn’t close to being his best game and yet there were still a dozen occasions where his skill and his invention took the breath away.
Ronaldo does shock and awe. His header for Manchester United against Roma at the Stadio Olimpico in 2008 was probably the most stunning feat of athleticism I’ve seen on a football pitch. But what Messi does lifts the soul.
In the first half against Liverpool, he was subdued. Subdued by his standards. He still managed to get us off our seats by receiving his ball with his back to Fabinho, shaping to turn past him one way and then going past him the other way. Fabinho is a big man and this was the night when Messi completed the circumnavigation of the Brazilian.
Andy Robertson, Liverpool’s left back, played well against him and managed one superb tackle on him in the first half. But every player will be Messi’s victim at some point and there was a moment when he dropped back to defend in the bottom corner, scooped the ball over Robertson’s foot with James Milner snapping at his heels and sprinted forward to set up a chance for Luis Suarez.
We all know about the free-kick that came eight minutes from the end of the match. It was a long way out but Messi hit it with such precision and ferocious curl that it left a goalkeeper as good as Alisson helpless. That was just the headline act, though. What about the way he controlled a ball driven into him at pace and took it away from Joel Matip in the same movement? What about the way Messi drew three Liverpool defenders to him in the dying seconds and then played a reverse pass to Ousmane Dembele that should have led to Barcelona’s fourth goal and killed the tie dead?
A Ronaldo fan would tell you Messi should have gone for goal himself. A Messi fan is still glad he didn’t.