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Your man's bestie? How to deal with her

Try having a male bestie to make him see the issue from your perspective

In Summary

• Such ties are weird and awkward, especially if the two spend too much time together

• Find out her relationship status, how she met your boyfriend and why they're besties

Image: PEXELS / BUDGERON BACH

Most women have found themselves feeling threatened in their relationships because of a female friend.

The day your man tells you he has a new female best friend, it becomes weird and awkward.

This is how to deal with your partner’s ‘bestie’.

ACCEPT HER ROLE

First, if your man changes how he treats you when she is around, there is a problem.

But if he maintains the affection whenever she’s around, then this reduces the chance to feel threatened.

The woman will need to know the ‘bestie’ more and even make her your friend.

This can be done by joining their activities; for instance, hanging out the three of you.

If you have a problem with the friendship, then you need to talk to your man about it.

Instead of ignoring the woman when clearly your man treasures her, just talk.

When dealing with the bestie, do not ignore her presence or give her passive treatment.

You better talk about the issue with your boyfriend instead of ignoring it.

HAVE A TALK

Once you make the bestie your friend, it will be easy for you to know her intentions.

Find out details like her relationship status, how she met your boyfriend and why they decided to be best friends.

You can also express your thoughts about the friendship to your man.

Don’t make it a fight, just sit and raise your concerns, which you think are red flags.

Red flags in the bestie could be late-night calls, touchy moments and your man’s commitment to spending time with her.

Start off with a casual conversation to gauge how he feels about the situation.

If he is suddenly defensive about things or is overly protective of the friend, this may mean there are bigger issues.

SET BOUNDARIES

By the time you decide to set boundaries between your man and the bestie, it means there’s more than meets the eye.

The way he receives the discussion to set boundaries will also determine if the best-friendship is genuine or not.

Tell your man you are not comfortable when they decide to leave you out in their hangouts.

If you are in an open relationship, where your partner can have other companions, then that’s different.

You’ll have to tell your man why you think the bestie is a threat.

If it’s an exclusive relationship, try and have male best friends and see what he thinks about it.

This is not to make him jealous but to make him look at things from your perspective.