STORYTIME WITH KARZ: When the lakeside beauty met the sleek city lawyer

Once upon a scandal, there was this lady from the lakeside region. A vision, really. Skin that glowed like morning light on the waters of Nam Lolwe, brains sharper than a lawyer’s tongue, and a bank account that didn’t need rescuing. She was beauty, brains and bank, the rare triple threat.

Then came the city lawyer. A man of charm and suits so fine, they could sue you for touching them.

Flamboyant? That word doesn’t even begin to describe him. He was the kind that arrived before his cologne. You’d hear his laughter in a room before you saw him, and when you did, ah, you’d understand why half of Nairobi’s gossip circles had him on speed dial.

The two met and fireworks didn’t even try to compete. The beautiful lakeside queen and the flamboyant city lawyer, what a combo! Their love story exploded on social media faster than breaking news. That traditional wedding? Darling, even the ancestors trended that day. The beaded crowns, the dancing, the ululations, it was luxury wrapped in culture, sealed with hashtags and drone shots. “#TheLakesideLove.” Remember?

But, you see, love stories in this town have a way of turning into cautionary tales. The lawyer, as people whispered over glasses of wine, had a reputation, a man known to drop wives like hot potatoes once the soup cooled. The man didn’t do long-term subscriptions; he was all about free trials. And true to rumour, just a few years later, the fairytale turned sour.

It started with subtle hints, Instagram captions that didn’t align, “we move” posts, cryptic quotes about “peace over drama”. Then one morning, boom! The news hit the internet like thunder. The marriage was over. The lakeside beauty and the flamboyant lawyer had parted ways.

But wait, the story doesn’t end there. Oh no, it gets juicier.

Barely had the digital dust settled when the lawyer unveiled a new wife: another beauty, another show, another grand announcement. Social media was once again on fire. People rolled their eyes, “This man doesn’t even let the ink on the divorce papers dry!”

But then, something wild happened. The lawyer decided, brace yourselves, to go back to his ex-wife’s home to collect his dowry. Yes, darling. He wanted a refund on love!

He didn’t do it quietly either. No, he made it a public spectacle. Cameras rolling, social media posts flying, hashtags blazing, #DowryRefund #MyMoneyBack. He even posed for photos. It was pettiness on another level.

The internet erupted. People couldn’t believe it. “How do you take back dowry?” they asked. “What about the love you shared? The meals she cooked, the nights you held her, the laughter, the intimacy?”

Others were savage: “Are you also returning the conjugal rights you enjoyed? The warmth, the sweetness, the womanhood you sampled? How about the diameter, are you going to restore it?”

The whole country was talking. WhatsApp groups were buzzing, TikTokers were analysing, bloggers were milking the drama. The lakeside lady, ever the queen, remained silent, elegant, unbothered and untouched by the noise. Because sometimes, silence is the loudest clapback.

Meanwhile, the lawyer strutted around as though he had reclaimed a lost empire, but what he truly reclaimed was public ridicule. The man turned himself into a living meme, the city’s most flamboyant dowry collector.

And as we watched the circus unfold, one lesson shimmered through the chaos: Not every love story deserves a sequel, and not every dowry deserves a refund.

Some men collect wives like court cases, and some women love like saints. But in the end, the internet never forgets, and karma, my dears, never misses an address.

Until next time, my dear readers, sip your tea, mind your heart, and never forget: In this world of love and law, drama is always just a post away.