JIJI NDOGO: Chifu says charity begins at home

But there’s more going on with Chifu, as we call our dear old chief, than mere old age. Like my boss Inspector Tembo, Chifu’s brain isn’t working as well as it should. For one, he can longer tell who’s who among his people. The other day, he summarily dismissed a woman’s domestic case because she came dressed in trousers.

“Kwani wewe ni mwanaume?” he asked.

“Hapana. Mimi ni mwanamke. Hata nimezaa watoto watatu.”

“Tangu lini wanawake wakavaa longi? Kama wewe pia unataka kuvaa suruali kwa hiyo mboma, si hata wewe urushe mangumi.”

And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Chifu has forgotten to hide stuff he used to do under the table. Whenever someone visits him, he asks for a hongo immediately as if his office is a shop.

“Mimi nifuatilie vitu zako zimeibiwa lakini hutaki kutoa kitu kidogo? Mimi ni wenyu?”

Complaints have been coming in thick and steady, but someone has convinced Chifu it’s time to let go of the uniform. Our guess is, that someone is his son Nanifala. He’s been more and more present by his old man’s side. And now with Chifu’s visit to police post, everything has been laid bare.

“My son will succeed me,” he declares.

“Chief,” Sgt Sophia says, “I don’t believe that’s how it works.”

“I don’t care what you believe. It works how I say it works.”

 “The government is responsible for appointing the new chief. You could make a recommendation and see how it goes.”

The fact is, even Sophia doesn’t want to think about Nanifala being chief. That man is the kind of person people emigrate to avoid. But who would blame him? If you come from a pig sty and you were taught to oink, you’ll end up being a pig.

I doubt Nanifala can add two and two. Well, maybe he can, but I doubt he can come up with four. He didn’t finish high school and I doubt he even went through all the required primary school years. He’s the type that feels that he doesn’t have to put the effort because his father is the chief. He has his life already mapped out for him.

“What experience does your son have?” I ask.

The chief bellows with laughter. “Is that a question? What experience does one need to be a chief?”

“It’s an administrative position,” Sophia says. “You have to attend to the people and fill out official documents. Didn’t you have experience when you started?”

The chief waves the question off. “Aargh! You’re asking too many questions. I came here to inform you that my son, Aaron Nanifala, will be the new chief. Anyone with questions can come directly to me.”

With that, the chief storms off.

“What was that all about?” I ask Sophia, chuckling a little.

She seems serious, as if thinking about something. “You know, I don’t think that was funny at all.”

“How come?”

“I think the chief means business. He wants his son to be chief.”

“But that can’t happen, can it? We have laws and procedures in place. These things go through a certain protocol.”

“I don’t know how but I truly believe Chifu will make good on his promise. We have to start thinking how to counter this in case that imbecile becomes the new chief.”