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COURTSHIP IS DEAD

Take me as I am, stop conditioning me

There is a reason God in His infinite wisdom created us different.

In Summary
  • Another famous conditioning phrase is “I like women with no make-up or weaves” and you are talking to a woman who has make-up on and a weave.
  • Or, “I do not like women who drink, my woman should be home not in the bar!” and at that time you have met me in the bar. 

What surprises me even more is women who are now walking around trying to be what they are not.

When we were young (er), men used to court us. You would be sitting with a man wherever and he would be telling you about his dreams, which you were included in of course. “When I get money the first thing I will do is buy you a house!” he would then go and add, “I will take you to Paris!” Always to a certain hotel that he could barely pronounce.

And you felt good about the things yet to come and you committed to this dreamer and if the stars were in your favour, his dreams came true or, at the very least, you went to a French restaurant together.

These days men are conditioning women. There is no more courting. “I do not like money minded women!” They have no dreams. No ambition. So they condition you to a life of poverty and because women think there is a shortage of men, (thanks to patriarchal conditioning) they grab this one, a bird in hand and whatnot, and try to make the best out of it. Either by joining his lack of ambition WhatsApp group or trying to be the visionary in that relationship. Both attempts lead to misery.

Another famous conditioning phrase is “I like women with no make-up or weaves” and you are talking to a woman who has make-up on and a weave. Wait, an even better one, “I do not like women who drink, my woman should be home not in the bar!” and at that time you have met me in the bar. Instead of looking for a teetotaller, you are attempting to condition me.

Why is it that some men will find a woman, seemingly enjoying her life, doing what she wants and then try to condition her to fit in his life? Why not get a woman who already fits in your life? There are women who “Do not like money” (I would like to meet her too). Seriously  though, there are women who do not wear makeup and even more who do not drink. Why meet a woman in a bar and try to make her what she is not?

In the end, my dear women, we break our own hearts by not being true to ourselves. What if we stopped limiting ourselves and just be who we were meant to be. If you are loud, be loud. If you are quiet be quiet. If you drink, continue and if you do not, do not start. Your weave looks good on you and your natural hair is great.

What surprises me even more is women who are now walking around trying to be what they are not. He said he does not like a woman who talks back, so you are holding back your opinions, which may be really good ones. He said he doesn’t like it when you are out. You are an extrovert who enjoys people’s company, yet here you are, depressed and home alone because this is not who you really are.

He likes thin women and you are not, you are now running around the neighbourhood like you are being chased by unseen forces from your village. He wants the big bum girls, you are injecting things into your derriere and applying all manner of life-threatening concoctions to give yourself what your mama couldn’t.

In the end, my dear women, we break our own hearts by not being true to ourselves. What if we stopped limiting ourselves and just be who we were meant to be. If you are loud, be loud. If you are quiet be quiet. If you drink, continue and if you do not, do not start. Your weave looks good on you and your natural hair is great.

Your mind is sharp, say what you need to say and express yourself the best way you know how. If you prefer not to speak about your thoughts, that is ok too. Those who are for you will find you I promise. What we are not going to do is be uncomfortable being something we are not to make another person feel good about themselves.

There is a reason God in His infinite wisdom created us different. Whatever type of woman you want, you can get. Just look for and court those ones. Stop trying to condition those that do not fit your list of requirements.

 

Let us stop setting each other up for bad relationships—romantic and/or platonic. Our true colours will come out no matter what and the one attempting to condition will lose his grip and that is when the conditioning, abuse really, will go a notch higher. No wonder many people would rather take their chances with Covid than stay at home.

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