THE GREAT LIE

Men are selfish, women should learn from them

Be selfish with your time and energy to achieve our goals.

In Summary
  • A man will focus on something, a goal, his career and will stop at nothing to get it. You may ‘trick’ him into many things but his focus will remain the same.
  • No wife, no children, not even his mother, will sway him. Once he has achieved his goal, then he will be ready for other things.

Some people shout about how government is spending money on x instead of y, which I agree with by the way do not get me wrong. My issue with the emotional hypocrites is that some do not even know what their own children ate yesterday but are busy pointing fingers.

Maybe this is what is wrong with this nation. You are pretending to care about other people’s children, yet your own are going hungry. Charity begins at home. Stop being wicked.

Men are selfish and that usually is the cause of many a woman’s pain. The pain, I guess, is because we realise that maybe a little selfishness on our side too would not hurt but we rarely have the guts to be. It actually might make us better and easier to love.

Now I am not saying we compete with men. I am saying there is something to be learned from them. If you go to your friend's house and they cook sukuma wiki and you really enjoy it, as a clever woman you will ask her how she prepared it. She will explain it to you and you will change the way you cook that vegetable. You will then enjoy it more. Life is about learning.

A man will decide he is so busy with work, ok, he actually is. He will tell you he needs a month then he can avail himself for what you want. In the meantime, you should be content with the occasional call or WhatsApp text in between his meetings, golf and whatever else. And true to his word, he will avail himself after he is done with his month of work.

A man will focus on something, a goal, his career and will stop at nothing to get it. You may ‘trick’ him into many things but his focus will remain the same. No wife, no children, not even his mother, will sway him. Once he has achieved his goal, then he will be ready for other things.

That is why many a man will get married at what society thinks is an old age or will divorce a wife when he has reached his peak to now look for a wife he wants. Men can be extreme. I know as women we are not made that way, but we can change a thing or two and be selfish with our time and energy or whatever other resources to achieve our goals.

The other day a friend and I were discussing the way a man will decide he is so busy with work, ok, he actually is. He will tell you he needs a month then he can avail himself for what you want. In the meantime, you should be content with the occasional call or WhatsApp text in between his meetings, golf and whatever else. And true to his word, he will avail himself after he is done with his month of work.

But for us women, you could be sitting minding your own business and immediately the man calls, you spring like someone lit a fire on your behind, drop everything, friends, family, children (for some) and work to go see the almighty man.

We have been told this great lie that we are good at multi-tasking while men can only do one thing at a time. So we will be doing many half things when it would not kill us to tell almighty man, “no, this weekend I had planned to sit at home and count my children’s toes and fingers. I am free next weekend though.” Or even take that month out and concentrate on your business.

You will be juggling school pick-up, lying to your boss that your grandmother (who died 10 years ago) has died, telling your maid she cannot go for her off because you have been called to work and are needed in Naivasha urgently, all the while driving like a drunken ambulance driver to Athi River or wherever people go these days for a tête-à-tête.

We have been told this great lie that we are good at multi-tasking while men can only do one thing at a time. So we will be doing many half things when it would not kill us to tell almighty man, “no, this weekend I had planned to sit at home and count my children’s toes and fingers. I am free next weekend though.” Or even take that month out and concentrate on your business.

Even if you are married, ask for time and support from your partner. Do your thing and come back as promised. It does not make you a bad person, it teaches others how to treat you. You also do important things, you also need space, you also need support.

Remember, familiarity breeds contempt and some reasonable absence makes his heart like you more. Let us learn something from this brand of selfishness and be better people.

Happy Valentine’s to those who subscribe to that nonsense. (I am secretly hoping that someone’s son does something special yawa! Keep me in your prayers)

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