Dear 24-Year-old Tonny,
It is 10:30am on Saturday, March 5, two days after I turned 34. I am at Java in Nyali, waiting for my ‘special’ breakfast. Yaani, a breakfast on sale, there is nothing special about it. It is a treat for my past birthday. I drown the noise around me by removing my glasses; if I cannot see well, then I cannot hear much.
So here I am, scrolling through the Star’s timeline on Twitter, searching for my article, when I run into yours. As someone who refers to the mid-twenties as “quarter-life crisis”, I was drawn to your article. You articulated your feelings well enough, so much so that I could see you in my mind’s eye, rolling your eyes at the wise men birthday wishes on your Facebook post.
As a relatively older person, the cool aunt to nieces and nephews ranging from 27 years to 2 months, as a fellow unemployed part-time writer, kindly allow me to babble.
The morning of March 3 was a really bad start to what I consider a me-day. My five-month-old did not sleep very well, which means I hardly slept. A cranky sleepless me is not the best version of me. My husband is away, the nanny took the day off, my younger nieces and nephews have closed school and set up camp at the house. It was chaos and not the good kind. More importantly, none of it was about me. My baby was attached to me all day and night. It was not a good birthday.
I have had good ones. Great ones! I have travelled far and wide on these special days, had extravagant dinners, shopping trips and relaxing getaways (Ah! To be young and free!). Like you, I remember turning 24 very well. I turned 24 days before the company had a mass retrenchment. I lost my first job, first apartment and I went through a wrenching heartbreak. I lost everything. I packed up and moved back in with my parents to regroup. Ten years later, I find myself in my parents’ house due to special circumstances, but that is a story for another day.
I later found out that at 24, I was going through my Ben Ming Nian. A Chinese principle that states that the people who are in their own Zodiac year will face disruptions and instabilities. In short, every 12 years when the Chinese Zodiac turns to the animal of your birth you will face your ‘unlucky year’. Let us just say what happened to me at 24 made me a believer of the Ben Ming Nian. Which is almost insane as my Chinese Zodiac is the Dragon, one of the most revered animals in the Zodiac. However, the Dragon himself could not save me from the raving pit of misfortune circa 2012.
Back to my point: 24 might seem bad, and it probably is, but it will get better. What you are gaining now is insight into life’s secrets. The experiences that make the rest of us feel wise. A hundred wise men might tell you the same thing, but it will not make a difference until you live it. I probably sound like Min Jii, that is because I am her, or a version of her. By the time you turn 34, you’ll find yourself relating to her.
I have finished my belated breakfast special. I am off to Naivas to buy baking supplies for my son, who will turn six months in three days. Life will always give us lemons, but it is up to us to turn that tart fruit into something delicious. So, find the little joy you can in celebrating the little things.
Happy belated birthday.
Best wishes,
34-year-old Nabila
