The year is 2022. You do not believe me? Check your calendar. In this year of our Lord and the comeback of corona, you still find women forcing purity with the aim of being more attractive.
Somewhere along the way, society (I really mean men) told women that they rank higher in the list of women men want if they are closer to being a virgin. This means you should have a body count of zero, three if you really push it. If you have children, report it as having a child and if you date, it is during the day and you shake hands when he drops you home.
This is why you find grown women, who live in their own houses and pay their own bills, telling anyone who cares to hear that they are ‘old-fashioned’. They have never had sex on the first date and they have to have known a man for two years before jumping his bones.
That was cute when we were being exchanged for cows based on what had entered our vaginas. Right now, your worry should be on why a grown man would be so fixated on the activity or lack of in your nether region. It is not like anyone can ascertain his mother’s.
It really amuses me that men expect women with almost no sexual experience to somehow turn into sex goddesses in the bedroom with 365 ways to please them. People really need to pick a struggle, because of your inexperience (real or acting) you will be moving as much as a dead cockroach in bed and now that will be the reason he leaves you for the next prostitute who knows how to satisfy his needs.
Seriously though, you see the way men love sex, women do too. The way you want to explore, just imagine so do we. So let us all calm down. Our biggest concern should be having protected relations, getting tested and maintaining our health.
What is it about women and being expected to be nice and forgiving? What is it about women and being OK with this expectation? Anger is an acceptable emotion. An emotion that is not reserved for men. Women are allowed to exhibit that emotion. It is a healthy one.
Women can also have boundaries and it does not matter if they call you a cold bitter bitch. If they are, it means they cannot take advantage of you. That is OK.
You do not have to forgive anyone and you definitely should not be forgetting what they did to you. You owe no one a clear conscience. And as someone said, not even if they found Jesus or are at death’s door.
This next peeve is all on you women. This need to feel like you are always doing better than the next woman. What is that about seriously?
A woman will announce to her group of friends how her husband is the most romantic guy. Guy apparently buys flowers every Saturday, takes her to dinner every Friday and every Valentine’s day they will lunch in Paris. She will enjoy narrating all the details of her relationship, especially to her single friend(s) and often finish or start a sentence with, “ You know married women like us bla bla bla”. Meanwhile, the romantic guy got your number off her phone and has promised to pay your rent for the next year among other things if you just accept him.
They used to say that you should not broadcast all the good things your man does for you because one of your friends would feel jealous and steal him. Because we know your man is not a chicken and thus cannot be stolen, my theory is that your friend got tired of your arrogance and accepted your man’s advances.
You see my sister, we know you are not having a good time. It is even more unfortunate that you think feeling better involves making your fellow woman feel bad. While it is good to be married, it is not a rite of passage or an act for the fortunate. If you are unhappy, it is better to work on yourself.
Election season is here with us. Remember, no one is more Kenyan than another one.
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