• Musings on Black History Month range from interracial dating to Kenya's stillbirth
Image: HANDOUT
It’s Black History Month in the United States and I’m still just attracting white men. I’m always shocked that Black men are offended when I date white men. It’s not like they are lining up to date me. Every one of them that has said something to me has a white girlfriend.
I never complain. I understand that white girls have the privilege of “softer” femininity, and maybe Black men, who are often portrayed as these hard, toxic, masculine bodies, want to bask in the safety that that “softness” brings. Still, why are they so mad at me because I like the ‘little white boy’ (their words) who is so pale he is literally the colour white?
I already know the skin care routine he needs to add a little colour, and it’s called lotion and sunscreen. We don’t want this man burning up like Dracula when we vacation in Kilifi for winter in January. But that’s a problem for when we eventually date, because yes, we will. My sister calls it delusion, I call it strategising a K1 visa. (For the purposes of immigration, I am joking. I love this man, I know this man, I know him, I promise).
Anyway, speaking of Black men, did you hear that Ruto wants to send Kenyan police to Haiti? I mean, I guess this makes sense because we all know how effective Kenyan police are. We have all seen how prompt they have been to deal with the issue of femicide. The gender desks in their offices work so well that they don’t even ask you to go apologise to ‘mzee’ so he won’t hit you. They even have trained care specialists to deal with the trauma survivors of violence have. They have rape kits ready for sexual assault, and no one asks you, ‘Ulikuwa umevaa nini?’
They are so effective, they don’t even ask you for fuel anymore to come and help when you’re in trouble. I definitely see the logic behind the Kenyan police joining colonial imperialists to devastate a Black nation. Ruto makes so much sense as a leader, doesn’t he? Like, he is doing such a good job, he puts Uhuru to shame. I definitely see us all living happily in those affordable housing projects. A country so stable and thriving, colonialists are recruiting us to help them colonise our kinfolk. Kudos to the Ruto legacy!
Of course, once femicide is no longer headline-worthy, the media will shove it in little filler spaces somewhere, waiting for the next ‘big’ one. Maybe we’ll have a protest. Again. Maybe we’ll take our demands to Parliament and the county assembly. Again. Maybe we’ll make the hashtags trend on socials. Again. And then maybe the Kenyan police who will return from Haiti will have a solution for us. Isn’t that why William is taking them there? For the betterment of Kenya?
It’s Black History Month, and if after everything that has happened, especially since Covid, you don’t understand that politics is personal, then you are dumb. These uneducated, uncultured, neocolonial imperialists wannabes are making decisions that impact your life — for the worse — every single day. And you think the statement, ‘Me, I don’t do politics’ is a flex.
It’s Black History Month, and if you’ve never heard anyone say it, Dedan Kimathi should have been Kenya’s first President.