• I am drowning in fears that most parents grapple with
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I talk a big game when it comes to my kid. I say things like how I’m going to be very stern and raise him a certain way. I often envision my parenting strategy for when he’s older and more rebellious.
We all know that as parents, we want what is best for our kids, and that includes the possibility of turning into a foe in your child’s eyes because you parent them in a way they don’t agree with.
Every parent is faced with the dilemma of choosing to do things that are either the best option for their children or to do things that their children want or need. As you know, my son has been attending part-time daycare while he waits for a free spot to open up in kindergarten.
So we have been aware and anticipating that he will go to kindergarten soon. However, when I received the call that there was an opening for him at a kindergarten, I came to an unexpected conclusion.
I realised that I am not ready to send him away just yet. It's quite silly really; I mean, he goes to daycare three times a week and he attended nursery school in Kenya for a while. Even though he has been in school-like environments, I find myself dreading to send him to kindergarten at this age.
I am drowning in fears that most parents grapple with. What if there are bad people at the school? What if the children are rowdy? Will they treat him badly because he is from a minority ethnicity? Will they influence his life more than me? Will they neglect him? How will I know? My son barely talks!
He’s a little over two and the thought of him spending a good portion of the day with people other than me makes my heart race. I barely trust people I know to watch him, how will I accept random strangers who speak a foreign language to watch him?
It's not only our fears about the unknown that trigger our worries, but fear of the known as well. I know how my son is like, I know how he can push one’s patience, how will his teachers react to this?
All parents think their kids are special but because of their particular likes, dislikes and behaviours, we shape our parenting around our children’s needs and wants. However, in school environments, it's a one-fit-all style of rearing.
I know what you will say, it's what everyone is saying to me right now, it's also what I was a big supporter of: children will assimilate. Children are meant to grow around the boundaries that are established for them. They get used to things the more we expose them, it’s in their nature to learn.
I used to advocate strongly for my child to go to kindergarten and integrate into society from a young age. Now that the time is here, I only want to stop the clock, hold my son tightly and let him be my baby for a little while longer.