• 80 per cent of my neighbours' partying is at home, on any given night
More than 30 years ago as a teenager, against everything considered “cool” by my peers at the time, I became a fan of the Australian soapie, 'Neighbours'.
It had a catchy theme song about everybody needing good neighbours and how with a little understanding, you could find the perfect blend.
Having lived next door to some really good people from childhood through to my age 23, when I finally moved out of my father’s house, I could relate to the theme tune and also to the goings on at Ramsey Street.
In fact, I can say without fear of contradiction that the neighbours I had while living “at home” were some of the best neighbours anyone could have.
I am still in touch and friendly with some of them, which as far as I'm concerned is quite an achievement.
The neighbours I had after that time were rather less memorable. In fact, apart from a couple of people I got to know at the first address I lived at after I left the parental nest, I honestly can’t say I have gotten to really know my neighbours since.
This was partly because of my job but mainly because of my socialising in those years. Together, these issues meant I kept unsociable hours.
In fact, when I worked in broadcasting and often had to travel domestically and abroad at the drop of a hat, I remember one downstairs neighbour saying, when we finally introduced ourselves, that she had thought I was a drug dealer or some such criminal.
On the whole, I generally tend to live and let live with neighbours, and that has worked out pretty well for me until now.
I’m sure I have mentioned my current noisy neighbours before, and while I have been tolerant of them for a long time, I now feel they have gone overboard.
Dear Reader, Let me remind you of them and their habits, just in case you may have forgotten.
They are a family of four. Two parents, whose music choices make me think we must be of an age, their final-year university son and their already working daughter.
These guys like to party, and though they often entertain, they tend to party with or without visitors.
As a one-time party animal of note myself, I must say I appreciate their gusto. The difference is, 99 per cent of my partying was done at bars and nightclubs on any given night of the week, while it seems my neighbours prefer to do about 80 per cent of their partying at home, on any given night.
Again, I am happy that they have so many reasons to celebrate and crack open the bottles of wine, beers and spirits to go along with the marijuana and conversation.
My issue with them, especially in this era of permanent power cuts, is that they appear to be getting louder with every day.
Because of the power cuts, many people have taken to downloading TV shows, films and podcasts to listen to and watch when they can neither read nor access TV or radio.
Since not everyone in my house watches the same shows at the same time, we all tend to listen to whatever is on our devices through headphones.
My neighbours can’t decide whether they are being rowdy parliamentarians shouting over each other to make their conversational points, or a half-price Family Von Trapp rehearsing badly for the music festival.
The more inebriated they get, the louder they become. Until the other day, I actually dialled the council noise hotline to complain about the unreasonable noise.
It was as the phone was ringing that I stopped myself to ask if I truly want to become that neighbour who reports the other to the authorities?
Also, self-preservation, or more correctly, self-interest kicked in and I remembered I have two small noisy dogs that are always yapping, and if the neighbours were to have their revenge, I would also get a reprimand from the council.
I guess the cowardly way out is to invest in some noise-cancelling headphones and be done with it.