It takes two to parent

Having a great partner makes parenting a joy

In Summary

• A first-time mum has a hellish time adapting, so it helps to have supportive partner

A mother hovers over her family at the breakfast table
A mother hovers over her family at the breakfast table

The past few weeks I have been relying heavily on my husband to help with the baby. My husband has always been a hands-on parent, and our year long physical separation left him yearning for more quality father-son time.

However, as we are alone in a foreign country with no third-party help, the two of us share child care and other duties as much as possible. During work hours, I take charge of the baby and the household chores and my husband takes over baby care as soon as he is off work.

However, with him being off work during the holidays I can readily admit that I felt a little weight off my shoulder as he spent more time with the baby during the day than I did. For starters, I got to sleep in even if it was for 30 minutes before the little man busted into the room to demand his morning feed. 

I have spoken about my son being a poor sleeper before. So we have many interrupted or sleepless nights. On a regular day, I would have to wake up early with him as his father has to work. Which means I am basically in zombie mode for the first few hours of the day. But having my husband around on his off days makes me feel at ease because I know that whenever I need to sleep during the day, he has my back. 

My son also knows that there are some things that are just more fun with dad than with me. With his dad, they explore different places and learn new things as they bond over shared interests. With the two occupied in their own pursuits, I found myself calmly going through my to-do lists with great efficiency. 

I realised that with help, I was able to distribute my time to all areas of my life that needed focus. I could spend quality time with my kid without worrying over the numerous things I had to do after. I could also do my work more efficiently without worrying about watching over my son and being pulled in 10 different directions at once! With my husband home, and us taking turns to watch over our son, I observed that we had more time and interest in spending time with each other at the end of the day. 

One of the reasons I chose to marry my husband was knowing that he would be a great father and he has proved himself to be the best father to our son and the best partner for me. If it wasn't for his support throughout the years, I wouldn't even be where I am today. I know that this column is about the lessons I learn as a first-time mother, but with my husband’s help, I have learnt that I am a better mother to my son because I have the best partner by my side.

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