Motherhood is tough regardless of status

Working mums think stay-at-home mums have it easier until they wear their shoes

In Summary

• We all have our own struggles and we need to learn to appreciate each other for it


Motherhood doesn’t discriminate. Whether you are rich, poor, single, married, working full-time of a stay-at-home mum, we all go through the same things. Granted, our experiences change according to the nature and demands of the baby, but in a nutshell, motherhood is pretty much the same.

I recently texted one of my mum friends, apologising for not replying to her texts for a while. I remember saying I did not have anything interesting to say and I felt awkward replying. My days and news are all about the baby, and at some point, I become underwhelmed about my sense of achievements and socialising skills. Instead of finding a way out, I became reclusive. I just didn’t want to be the mum who talks insistently about her child! I craved my own identity, the identity I lost after becoming a mother.

I had always wanted to stay home and raise my baby. I am also a member of the unemployed youths of Kenya, so my staying home was not voluntary. That said, I did not want to be a busy working mum, away from my first experience of motherhood, and I will forever be grateful for the ‘luxury’ of having a choice.

However, from time to time, I found myself craving an ‘escape’. I just wanted to be busy with something else other than my child! I wanted to have interesting stories of my own as well as the sense of accomplishment.

I told my friend whenever I feel underwhelmed about my situation, I would rather stay away from texting as I have nothing interesting to share.

Sometimes, I wished I was like her or other working mums. My friend is a full-time medicine student and struggles to raise her child with her full-time working husband. As such, they take their 11-month-old daughter to daycare. Sometimes she would talk to me about school and all the work she has to do. She would talk about the stresses of regular busy days aside from parenting.

Recently, the same friend texted me, completely exhausted after spending a couple of days at home with her infant. “I don’t know how you do it!” Ditto, I thought. I had always imagined being a working mother was probably the toughest thing to do for most mothers. However, as it turns out, some working mothers find being a stay-at-home mum an even harder job.

I have come to appreciate the role of motherhood in a completely different light. Whether we work in a big office, own businesses or even stay home all day long, we all have our own struggles and we need to learn to appreciate each other for it.

We need to stop assuming how easy or hard another’s motherhood journey is based on her conditions. Because when all is said and done, we all share the hardest job in the world: motherhood.

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