•With increased access to smartphones and the variety of options available for people to get in touch, the pressure to give immediate feedback has become increasingly normal.
•This has led some people to go to the extent of removing “blue ticks” on WhatsApp to avoid the unnecessary pressure to text back.
Image: Image: elitedaily.com
You send a fire text to a friend or loved one, and wait, but minutes later, there is no response from them.
With every passing minute, you keep on checking your phone, scrolling through Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok and other social media sites to at least distract yourself as you wait for the reply, but still no response.
And when your phone finally buzzes, and you rush to the chatbox, eager to read the reply, your heart sinks because it's probably a promotional text message.
You go back to the same chat box to see if the person is online, all you see is ‘..typing’. And this is when anxiety kicks in, you re-read the text message and start wondering if the message was appropriate, misunderstood or rubbed the recipient the wrong way.
The new developments in digital technology are what have contributed to the growing impatience among people, whose expectation is for the other parties to be constantly available to text back.
According to data from the Communication Authority of Kenya, about 59 million mobile phone devices were connected to mobile networks in the country for the quarter ending September 2021 and the numbers are increasing daily.
With increased access to smartphones and the variety of options available for people to get in touch, the pressure to give immediate feedback has become increasingly normal.
This has led some people to go to the extent of removing “blue ticks” on WhatsApp to avoid the unnecessary pressure to text back. But other people still find this a selfish and annoying move.
“Why are you hiding? Just respond to the text when you feel like it,” Millicent Akello, 26, says.
This has also been displayed in workplaces and on social media sites where people are craving likes and comments on their posts. When one doesn’t get an immediate response, they feel like the recipient is either lazy or their social media post is not as perfect.
“We have been conditioned into immediate responses,” says Michael Stefanone, professor of communication at the University of Buffalo, US, who specializes in social networks.
Image: Pixabay
Why does it annoy you?
Experts have linked that to a human emotional investment that leaves an empty feeling if someone does not respond to their text messages immediately.
It further brings an emotional discomfort that leaves room for overanalyzing things.
“Some people get really upset because they’re projecting their own anxieties onto the situation,” says Stefanone.
“If I text you and expected a response yesterday, and you don’t respond, I don’t have a lot of information – so I use my imagination. Like, ‘maybe he’s mad at me' or ‘maybe he’s dead'. We don’t have any context.”
Moses Sagwe, 23, says he only responds to text messages when he has time to do so.
“Some people expect you to have your phone on you at all times and that you have nothing better to do than to read their messages and reply to them immediately,” Sagwe says.
“As long as I reply, it doesn’t matter what time, we are good. If it is an emergency, just give me a call. Otherwise, just be patient.”
How to avoid 'text back' anxiety
Setting boundaries and remaining positive can always help minimize stress and anxiety, which is very important.
“Once I initiate a conversation with someone, I always let them know, in case I don’t respond immediately," Kelly Mwende, 25, says.
“A simple, ‘I am busy, I will respond as soon as I can’ I believe reduces that over expectation.”
In the end, if they fail to respond there are a few options available, give them a call, sit back and be patient or put your phone away and look for another distraction.
If you’re getting worked up over a slow reply, always remember not everyone is glued to their phone and some could be busy running errands.
Keep in mind you are projecting your own situation and subsequent anxieties on the recipient when you don’t actually have concrete information on why they may be delaying to respond.
“Sometimes it can also be about control, when we feel anxious and overwhelmed, we might try to take control of the situation. Be in charge!"