The husband for hire

An inviting ad for a trip to the Coast lures the bachelor into a trap

In Summary

• Bachelor has no idea what he has coming for him when he signs up for a driver job


Diary, I’m writing this while sipping mnazi under a palm tree. How come?

Well, I saw a post on social media seeking a well-groomed driver to accompany a naïve new car owner to Gedi, home of Gedi ruins, for the weekend. And why not?

When we met, I was shocked to find out she was a stunning young woman. Though I’d hoped it wasn’t a man, I harboured no illusions. My only interest was the ruins.

Nine hours later, we didn’t pull up to a sleepy village. It seemed like everyone and their grandmother was out to welcome us.

“What’s going on?” I asked her.

“Only a few of us from this village make it to Nairobi. Just go with it.”

We walked on a carpet of palm fronds to an ornate hut. Dancers gyrated, women ululated.

“All this because…”

“Just go with it.”

They decked us with leis, wrapped us in lesos. A crown on my head.

“The crown? I know… Just go with it.”

A feast followed: biryani, pilau, chapati, wild boars roasted whole. The palm wine was potent. When a medicine man showed up and began incantations, alarm bells went off in my head.

“And now?” I asked.

“They think we’re getting married. Just go with it.”

I excused myself and called a lawyer friend in Nairobi, asked how I could get out of the situation.

He laughed.

“A pretty hot Giriama broad, you said?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know her from Eve.”

“Dude, just go with it.”

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