When you are in your 20s, especially the early 20s like I am, and you are at a workplace doing something as mundanely significant as an internship, older people will often come to you with stuff like, “You should really appreciate this time of your life.” And, “I miss my 20s now that I am handcuffed with responsibilities.”
But the truth is that they don’t miss their 20s. They miss that time in their lives when they did not have a lot of responsibilities because nobody expected anything from them. Interestingly, they do not seem to remember why nobody expected anything from them. Well, let me lay it down for you, Methuselah. Nobody expected sh*t from you because you sucked! That’s right; you had the intelligence of a rock. And the reason why you sucked is because 20s suck.
In your 20s, you have absolutely no intuition, no instincts. The only decisions you can make are mistakes. Terrible mistakes, like insulting the HR assistant when you know too damn well you are just a piece of sh*t called an intern. And that HR you just insulted can just as well dust his feet with you if he so deems fit.
This HR might have been a d*ck, but you went ahead to embarrass and sh*t on his ego — in the presence of everyone, including your fellow interns. And this you did under the influence of a terrible hangover; a result of 750ml bottle of KC you decided to swallow all on your own the previous evening just because it was given to you for free. And you being you, you can never say no to free things.
So when the HR assistant asked you — nay, ordered you — to go arrange seats in the conference hall, you said, “Omera, I cannot. I did not sit in a computer science class for four years just to come arrange seats here. Where I come from, seats are arranged by people with useless degrees like human resource management.”
They were all so impressed, your intern mates. Positively taken by your boldness, your defiance, your cunning wit and your steely resolve. For a moment, you felt like you were Jon Snow, and you had just saved the North from the army of the dead. But that was last week, Friday.
In your typical 20s folly, you just assumed that Dibox, the HR assistant, would be willing to let it go, eager even to make peace with you and quit being such an a**hole. But Monday this week met you with such a rude awakening.
You came to work and met your desk by the reception area. Next to the receptionist, Ajoji, he of the infamous saa na kasi. And that was not all. In the reception area was a placard written, “Tonny Ogwa the IT intern should sit here till further notice. Signed, Dibox.” Yaani, you were suspended from the IT department and had to sit at the reception and help with the receptionist work.
Now of course sitting pretty, smiling and telling people, “Karibu sana, how I may help you?” is not exactly rocket science for you. You would have even actually enjoyed it except for the fact that you would be working side by side with Ajoji.
And Ajoji likes a lot of things on this Earth, but sharing duties and working space is not one of them. So every morning, you come to work and you meet Ajoji’s scathing glare. It is obvious that he would love nothing more than to swallow your head off your shoulders.
So whenever he barks, “Enda letea mimi chai, kijana!” you run and get the chai because you like your head right where it is, safely attached to your neck.
