Book Review: Love is not enough in marriage

Covers of Gary Chapman books
Covers of Gary Chapman books

1. Things I wish I'd known before we got married by Gary Chapman

2. The five languages of love by Gary Chapman

Why I chose to combine a review of the two is because the first one forms its foundation on the second book.

Gary Chapman is a marriage counsellor who in his 35 years of counselling emphasizes that being in love is not enough to make a successful marriage, mutual sexual fulfilment is not automatic and personality profoundly affects behaviour.

"Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" is an outstanding book that will give you great tips on how to handle your new marriages.

When you consider the fact that most people spend more time planning and training for their vocation than they do for their wedding should not be surprising that they are more successful in their vocational pursuits than they are in reaching the goal of marital happiness.

It shouldn't also be any surprise that the divorce rate is so high in Kenya and other countries which could also be the core reason contributing to many cases of violence, depression, suicide and murder in the current marriage setups.

No one gets married hoping to be miserable or to make their spouse miserable, yet the highest percentage of divorce occurs within the first seven years of marriage. His books provide a marriage blueprint for people and for engaged couples or those preparing for marriage.

Chapman's book "The five languages of Love", claims that the list of five love languages is exhaustive. According to his theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language.

Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often.

With all this information and sparkle of marriage counselling then the marriage institutions would be better places to raise mentally, emotionally and spiritually upright children and better citizens.