Nyama choma doesn’t whisper, it screams. The goat is slapped on open flames, it hisses and spits, fat dripping down like sweat off a body that’s been working hard all night. The smell alone makes you weak, smoky and primal, like someone tugging at your clothes before you’re even ready.
You turn it, slow, teasing, letting the fire lick every side, kiss it until it’s blushing, dark and dripping. Every slice is tender but firm, hot flesh giving way under your teeth, juices running down your chin. You don’t wipe them, you lick them, messy and shameless.
But what’s hot flesh without a little play on the side? Enter ugali, thick, stiff, demanding you use your hands. You squeeze it, roll it, press it against the meat like you’re pushing bodies together, rough and needy. It soaks up the juices, gets sticky and hot, and when you put it in your mouth, it’s heavy, filling and filthy.
Then the kachumbari slides in, cool, wet, sharp with onions, soft with tomato, a cheeky bite that wakes your tongue just as the heat threatens to knock you out. It’s the fresh kiss after a long, dirty make out, the little tease that keeps you going for round two.
Nyama choma with ugali and kachumbari isn’t food, it’s foreplay on fire, sweat dripping down your back, fingers messy, lips tingling, breath heavy. It doesn’t let you sit pretty, it drags you in and makes you beg for more.
Tips
• Rub the meat with oil before it hits the fire. It makes it glisten and drip like it’s sweating for you
• Let the ugali stay thick, stiff, and heavy. That’s the way it knows how to play rough
• Slice your onions thin for kachumbari. Let them bite and sting like a lover’s teeth on your skin
• Eat outside, darling, where you can get messy without shame
Warning
careful, this choma isn’t just food, it’s raw, smoky, dripping flesh that will have you grinding, licking, and moaning with every bite. Serve it and you might just find yourself bent over the grill, begging for more than dinner.
Ingredients
• 1kg goat meat, on the bone
• 2 tbsp oil
• 2 tbsp garlic and ginger paste
• juice of 2 lemons
• 1 tsp chili flakes
• salt to taste
• 2 cups maize flour
• 4 cups water
• 3 tomatoes diced
• 1 red onion sliced
• 1 avocado cubed (optional)
• juice of 1 lime
• handful coriander chopped
Procedure
1. Marinate goat in lemon juice, garlic ginger paste, chili flakes and salt. Let it soak until it’s dripping and needy
2. Slap the meat on a hot charcoal grill. Let it hiss, moan, and drip while you keep turning it, slow, letting every side get kissed by fire
3. When it’s juicy, smoky and blushing dark, pull it off and cut it into hot, tender chunks
4. Boil water, sprinkle maize flour, stir rough and hard until it’s stiff, thick and hot. Mould it into a mound you can squeeze in your palm
5. Mix tomatoes, onions, avocado, lime juice and coriander with salt for kachumbari. Keep it wet, fresh and sharp
6. Now get dirty; scoop meat with ugali, dip it in kachumbari, shove it in your mouth and don’t you dare use a fork
