The pain of a broken heart may not be so different from a broken bone.
Researchers have found surprising evidence that the pain of rejection or exclusion is not so different from the pain of physical injury.
Rejection has serious
consequences for an individual’s psychological and emotional state and the
society at large.
Rejection is something we all face, whether in workplaces, marriage, family, relationships, or religious settings, among others.
It can make us all feel heavy and personal. The good news is that it’s possible to turn rejection into fuel for growth rather than a permanent setback.
Rejection can fundamentally influence mental health, prompting emotions like sadness, tension, nervousness, anxiety, anger, and triggering decreased self-esteem and elevated stress.
Rejection can manifest as social withdrawal, negative self-talk, aggression, a fear of intimacy, or heightened sensitivity to future rejections and avoidance of social situations.
If the feeling of
rejection is not addressed, it can lead to severe cases, which can contribute to
depression, anxiety disorders, other mental health conditions and quite often
to suicide ideation and ultimately suicide.
While all and sundry experience rejection regardless of social status, chronic or severe rejection can be mitigated by practising self-compassion, cultivating positive social connections, and utilising techniques like Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to challenge negative thought patterns and improve emotional responses.
Coping with rejection involves acknowledging emotions without judgment, embracing self-love, and engaging in healthy activities like engaging in enjoyable activities and spending time with loved ones.
The following are some of
the global trailblazers who have overcome rejection and achieved success
despite early setbacks in their careers or personal lives, including J.K. Rowling, Bill
Gates, Stephen King, Walt Disney, Harrison Ford, Jack Ma, and Oprah Winfrey, among others.
Psychologists and
therapists have postulated many coping mechanisms to overcome psychological
pain and potential complications of social rejection, among them:
Accept Vulnerability
It’s normal to feel disappointed, hurt, or frustrated. Suppressing emotions can make rejection bite longer.
It’s a sign of maturity to accept the feeling, then let it pass. It's
about making a conscious decision to be seen for who you truly are, even when
it feels frightening.
Therapy and Counselling:
Seeking help from a professional is a sign of strength, reflection, self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to personal growth and well-being.
Psychologists and therapists
provide a safe space to process negative emotions, build self-esteem, and
develop healthy coping mechanisms for rejection.
Cognitive-Behavioural
Therapy (CBT):
This goal-oriented type
of psychotherapy helps identify and adjust negative thought patterns
related to rejection, which is particularly beneficial for individuals
experiencing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
Rejection is not failure
Rejection is not personal failure but an experience that can lead to redirection, learning, and growth.
Rejection
is often an external factor beyond one's control, for instance, divergence of
views or someone else's opinion.
Mindfulness
and Self-Compassion:
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion cultivate emotional resilience and a greater sense of overall well-being, ultimately promoting emotional regulation and personal growth.
Mindfulness provides the awareness of one's emotions and struggles, creating
the space needed for self-compassion to emerge.
Extract the lesson:
Anyone confronted by rejection should analyse the experience and learn from it.
This may lead to
skills development, better ways of doing things, or a rerouting toward
something much better. I have personally used this coping strategy often times
and the rewards are enormous.
Remain focused and
persistent
Many global leaders encountered numerous rejections before breakthroughs. Each rejection creates opportunities.
They never gave up. They remained focused and persisted.
The outcome is not your worth
Rejection doesn’t mean one
is less capable or unworthy. It simply means this particular opportunity wasn’t
aligned, and there is room for better opportunities.
Self-care builds
resilience
Surround yourself with
supportive and positive people, practice positive self-talk, and engage in
activities that boost confidence and balance.
Rejection often provides insights for a better tomorrow. It clears space for something better.
The pain
associated with and the feeling of loss now may essentially be creating room for a
more aligned opportunity.
Rejection is not the end
of the world. It’s a temporary setback and not a final judgment on one’s worth
or destiny. It’s redirection, refinement, and resilience working out
The foregoing affirms that people are intrinsically motivated to be valued, recognised and accepted by others, and many of the emotions that they experience reflect these fundamental interpersonal concerns.
This calls for emotional intelligence while
handling interpersonal relations.
Eliud Muriithi, Director
Commercial Services, KEMSA
