A few weeks ago, I had a really eye-opening conversation with guys from the hood.
The conversation was with a group of men and what role they play (if any) in family planning.
It was the third and last instalment of the #Najali series on my Youtube channel. The overall sentiment was that men are generally averse to family planning conversations as they don’t see this as their purview but they still feel that the buck stops with them in deciding how many children to have.
We made fun of one guy we christened ‘Simba’ who felt that the natural order is men make the ultimate decisions on how many children to have and how to space them. Kama simba wa nyumba ni jamaa anamake the final decision.
What was apparent was how many of us men don’t realize the physical and emotional burden women carry as they think through and pick family planning options.
It dawned on me that our wives and girlfriends endure hormonal and physical changes at the expense of us having a ‘good time’. The reality is that this weight they bear didn’t really occur to me till I had this conversation.
Peter Ngure (Uncle P) from Pathways Policy Institute alituchallenge lakini. Alisema hii story ya family planning ni ya watu wawili. That is why it is called family planning.
He said that it is important to allow our women ample time to recover from childbirth and to offer support. This is important for their overall health and the health of the baby.
Aliambia wasee wasupport madame wetu. At this point, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was really internalizing these truths. I don’t know about you but this seemed very counter-cultural. We have not been socialized to think like this. A mind shift is clearly necessary.
Niliuliza wasee about family planning options they have heard of or used. Condoms were the most familiar. We all agreed that men need to seek out this information, especially in this digital age. Ignorance is not attractive.
Uncle P aliambia wasee waache kuskia uhondo wa mtaa and seek accurate information. He also assured the guys that when we access these services, confidentiality is guaranteed.
Let’s not shy away from seeking this information. Alituchanua about other male contraceptive options besides condoms.
Enyewe it feels like we have buried our heads in the sand for so long. Madame wanapitia mob-sio FGM, sio GBV, sio family planning kisolo, sio teen pregnancy. Mimi najali enough to be more involved in these issues na kutumia platforms zangu kuhighlight hizi issues.
Niko encouraged sana by the sentiments in the comment section. Wasee wanafeel it's high time we have this conversation openly and honestly as men. Hii ngori ya family planning inafaa kuwa kwa madame na majamaa.
Mimi najali, je wewe? Catch the #Najali conversation here.
