TEMBA: Let's not neglect boys as we empower girls

Over the years, the government has advocated for the empowerment of the girl child but it seems like it became a norm and now the boy child seems to be neglected.

Gone are the days when girls and women in general would be undermined. Only few regions in the country still believe in undermining the females in order to assert dominance.

Many organisations have come up to advocate for the rights of women and even fight male chauvinism in societies but they seem to have forgotten that men also need to be empowered and also share equal rights. Why are we pointing fingers on all men and crucifying them for the mistakes of their forefathers?

Nowadays any small achievement of the girl child is celebrated such as performing better in class while the boy child’s big achievements are considered an obligation. The male gender therefore feels inferior in today’s society and no wonder they may develop strange behaviours over time when growing up.

The recent killings of young females has brought to light the fact that the male gender is insecure. Most young men this days describe themselves as ‘ugly niggas’  who can’t find love therefore when a girl accepts their relationship offer, they put all their effort into the relationship thinking they can’t find better. Should the girl walk out or cheat on such a man, they take it as the utmost betrayal deserving revenge by all means.

A common saying among men goes “if  I cant have her then no one else can”. This saying answers a lot of questions as to why many women end up victims. In some toxic masculine traditions, some men lack love and acceptance from a young age and therefore feel the need to assert dominance.

In cases such as gender-based violence, the man always seems like the perpetrator and is considered to be the cause of all the problems in a marriage. The big question is what about the men who find themselves victim of such cases and cant report to authorities for the fear of being judged?  There's a societal belief that a man can’t be beaten by a woman.

Why is it that when a man reports to authorities that he was beaten the blame still falls on him and he is accused of committing a mistake that has led to his assault? Why do women speak boldly about being violated by the men and even create support groups for women while the men have no one to speak up for them?

In the case of mental health, research shows that the number of men with mental health issues is increasing day by day due to the gender not being able to speak out. Society has made the male believe that being weak is feminine behaviour and crying is a sign of weakness. Men will generally get hurt, suffer abuse, develop depression and still pretend like everything is okay.

There is a rise of suicide cases among men. One may ask, what more does a person need other than basic needs, family and friends.

Parents, guardians and teachers have a role in ensuring that the future generation of the boy child will not grow up to be broken, unloved and have low self-esteem issues. It all starts from giving equal rights to both genders. Women should be empowered to be able to stand up for themselves but likewise for the men who should be given attention. 

Most young men now are into drug and substance abuse and even addiction. When one investigates the source, they all add up to coping mechanisms that mask the real challenges they are facing. Instead of focusing on reprimanding the offenders, the root cause should be found in order to eradicate the drugs and substance abuse menace.

The government including schools, churches and institutions should also find solutions to this issues before they escalate to a crisis that will affect future generations. Most importantly, individuals should also seek help when faced with a challenge.

Third year student at Kenya Institute of Mass Communication [email protected]