It has been four years since beauty queen Ruth Kamande was sentenced to death on July 19, 2018, for murdering her boyfriend. I am at liberty to comment on that act of extreme wickedness because the case is no longer in court. I am not restrained by the fear of committing contempt of court.
Kamande, 21 at the time of committing the crime, was found guilty of murdering her boyfriend Farid Mohamed and sentenced to death by hanging. As reflected in social media in the court of public opinion, the verdict could not have been anything less.
Before the verdict, Kamande had long been convicted and hanged on Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms. According to the people, the court simply obeyed the voice of God and men – and that of women too.
There was no way Kamande would pull an OJ Simpson because the evidence was unassailable. The court was told that Kamande stabbed Farid repeatedly (25 times) over a love text message sent by another woman. Kamande then turned the knife on herself and tried to take her own life. She was rushed to the nearby Metropolitan Hospital with wounds in her hands and stomach.
After the judgment was read, Kamande broke down in tears and shouted “Jesus, have mercy on me.”
Going by the confession of friends and neighbours, all evidence pointed to the fact that the two did not have a smooth relationship. The court was told that Kamande used to eavesdrop on her boyfriend’s calls and was furious when she realised he had changed his phone password. For the time they were together, their relationship was anything but peaceful.
There are great lessons to be learnt from Kamande and Farid's experience. Our culture encourages marriage (between a man and a woman), anything outside this is considered an abomination.
But marriage is not a must. When a relationship is unhappy, disband it. Don’t keep it by all means and at all costs. Justice Jessie Lesiit, while sentencing Kamande, advised young people that it is not cool to kill their lovers, even when they feel disappointed or frustrated. They should instead walk away and, thereafter, forgive.
Had Kamande and Farid realised early in their union that they were incompatible and go their separate ways, the two would have been better off today. Sadly, one is dead and the other is facing the hangman's noose.
Again, very few families are happy when the man is broke and the woman is the breadwinner. It takes a lot of maturity for a jobless husband to tolerate verbal attacks from his working wife.
It also takes a lot of courage and humility for a man to be patient while the woman nags. The man should know that he has no right to lay a finger on her. He should also know that having integrity is greater than having money from questionable sources. There are exceptions nevertheless.
Men should know there is a thin line between anger and madness. When your wife angers you, take a walk until you cool down. To avoid disasters, everyone should respect each other’s phone, even if you suspect something fishy. It is dangerous to check your partner’s phone. You might end up in jail for murder-related charges. That is when you will wish you had not done anything stupid.
Don’t allow extreme anger to take control of you because of jealousy. Let Ruth’s fate be a wake-up call. There shall be no peace for the wicked. Every crime must be punished, in this world and in the world to come. Sadly, many never learn until it is too little too late.
The writer sells bananas in the streets of Kisii [email protected]
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