FELGONAH OYUGA: Courtship is dead, greed is in

Let me start off by saying this with all the humility I can muster. Your money does not mean anything to anyone else apart from the people you directly support. That is your immediate family. The rest of us will still live whether you die or not.

We really need to move away from this thing of “oh, he is a rich man, she has a big job, they sit at the same table with so and so” as a reason to care. Because, how are you benefitting from it? As in if I was going home to eat omena and ugali, I will just go and eat it. Blowing smoke up your derriere because you think you are something (and maybe you really are) will not make a difference.

A man meets a woman in the club. They have hardly known each other for two minutes before he starts declaring his wealth. “I am a director at such and such” he produces a business card to back it up. “I have a house in this and this”. Whips out his phone to show one hundred photos of said house. “I went on a business trip to another place, I will take you when I go next!” Meanwhile he does not even know if you are a wanted criminal or a mermaid.

I do not know whether such men are lazy or rude.

Another man meets another lady and suddenly starts referring to her as his wife to anyone who hangs around him long enough to hear. “This is my wife, I am going to build for her on that piece of land by the river. What do you think?” And then the foolish hang about will nod like a lizard in agreement.

This type of man is usually delusional. He more often than not cannot look after even a stray cat but he has convinced himself that he can build you a house on an imaginary piece of land by a river. He also thinks you believe him.

There is an even more wicked man. The one who uses the name of the most high God. You have been refusing his advances, but every morning he is on your WhatsApp sending you Bible messages and motivational rubbish.

He may even send a hymn or a voice note where he is praying. Then he will crown it all by saying to you, “One day, God willing, we will be together, my love.” Yawa wajemeni! Where will God will his wife to when he is willing you two together?

Such men are the reason many people do not go to church because you do not want to be near them when God gets fed up and decides to strike them dead.

Then there are the sadists. This buffoon does not even know where his own children are. For all he knows, they could be dead in a morgue somewhere. But he has decided he wants to look after your children. And you are not his sister.

“I want to mentor them and love and guide them.” To what please? The ways of the devil? Your own, from your body, you do not care for, can sex really mean that much to you that you will take on another man’s children while yours starve? What type of buffoonery is that jowa?

Somebody once said there are people and there are shoes. We have many shoes amongst us. Courtship is dead, greed is in.

I do not understand this sudden excitement about going to bed with someone that has made many men reckless and downright foolish. All these stupid stories are told to produce one result. Sex.

So reckless have men become that the lies told to new interests and wives or old interests can make you cry. You cry because of how stupid you must seem to people out there.

A man tells a woman, I have brought you wine from South Africa. The woman is excited, not because it is wine, but that the man obviously had her in mind while he was away.

When he arrives, it takes more than two weeks to deliver this precious wine all the way from Mzanzi. When the wine finally arrives, it has a Kebs sticker, another from the shop it was bought from, in Kenya, and the KRA seal. Anyway, it was South African wine.