We actually know quite a bit about happiness – who is happy and what contributes to happiness. This column draws from Dr Catherine Sanderson’s work at Amherst U. Her recent book is The Positive Shift.
We often think certain things are sure to bring happiness: more money, a nicer climate, marriage, children, a promotion and material objects. In fact, except for those below the poverty level, more money does not bring a lasting increase in happiness, nor do material objects.
Children and promotions, while rewarding, are not associated with greater happiness. And marriage, while it typically increases happiness for men, can increase or decrease the happiness ratings for women.
Research estimates 50 per cent of a person’s happiness can be accounted for by their genetically derived personality. Some people are naturally higher in self-esteem, resilience, optimism, and extraversion. Each of these is associated with a higher level of happiness and contentment, as well as with more resistance to damage from experiencing traumas.
Optimism tends to increase with age. The highest happiness/contentment ratings for people in all cultures are achieved by adults in their 70s and 80s (people in their 50s have the lowest happiness ratings). It appears that older people have learnt to appreciate quality over quantity with regard to such things as time, money, possessions, and relationships.
Research has shown that happiness is contagious: having happy friends, spouses, co-workers, neighbours, and acquaintances increases our own happiness. Another interesting finding is that the presence of cellphones, whether in use or not, distracts people from deeper personal engagement with others, thus limiting disclosure and their happiness enhancement from personal relationship contact.
Keep in mind that 50 per cent of our happiness and contentment are due to our own decisions, outlooks, and actions – the ways we act and adapt. Proactively deciding to try for what we want is important to our long-term satisfaction. I have found that people often regret things they did not try, but they typically do not regret things they took a chance on, even if those ventures did not turn out as hoped.
Three important components of happiness are pleasure (the least important and most fleeting); engagement with people, projects, and activities (and the anticipation that precedes engagement), and experiencing meaning through our actions, such as through acts of kindness or benefitting others. Of course, doing something meaningful, however small, involves caring and engagement, as well as our own pleasure and satisfaction.
Dr Sanderson suggests 10 possible and practical paths toward greater happiness. One is to change our behaviour: better sleep, exercise, or practising meditation, for example. Two, find our 'match' – that is, the best fit for ourselves, personally and professionally, be it spouse, job, location, hobby, diet, routines, or spiritual outlook. Three, spend time in nature.
Four, be aware of and express gratitude for things we appreciate in life right now. Five, write a gratitude letter to some important person in our life and then deliver it in person, if possible. Six, smile, both when pleased and when in distress (research show that smiling can even reduce pain).
Seven, give (giving increases our self-esteem, reduces anxiety, and can form connections and encourage giving in others). Eight, spend money wisely – on experiences, not on belongings. Nine, avoid comparisons with others – what they have, how fortunate they seem, and so on. And finally, so the work of building and maintaining relationships.
With regard to building and maintaining relationships, I would add that sometimes it might be important to restrict or let go of relationships that might have become toxic or even just a waste of time. We want to strive for relationships that let us be our best selves, and that are healthy and affirming.
Happiness and contentment can be increased and sustained through our awareness and our application of 'positive psychology' research findings.
Psychologist with over 50 years' experience treating individuals, couples, and families. He is also a forensic psychologist, police psychologist, and university lecturer.
