There is nothing like a morning when things are not going your way for you to realise how useful men can be. The pipe that brings water to the toilet, (I am sure it has a technical name) decided to try something new this morning—bring water everywhere in the bathroom except in the toilet. Got out and I had a puncture and the wheel would not come off.
Shout out to team ‘I do not need a man!’ I do not know how you do it. I need like five men at the very least.
So last week a friend and I were chatting and he says to me he met a girl. By day three she asked him why he was not making a move, ‘I’m sure you like me!’ Her words.
I am all for getting what you want, men included, but there should be finesse in the way we go about getting them. Men especially. Because, if it is done in such pedestrian ways, we risk setting very low standards for men. And we have already set such low standards.
Another friend of mine said to me, ‘Felly, these days we are the ones being chased. You get into the club, women want to buy you drinks, pay for your Uber and take you to her place.’
I do not get it! Ok, I know census said women are more than men, but we have some polygamous men so it should balance out. What is this desperation ladies?
My mother Mary, God rest her soul, used to tell me the world will not run out of men. I was a teenager who felt she was 30 years old and wanted to hold on to a boyfriend, in case I did not get another!) No matter how old I got, fat or thin, how many children or crocodiles and hyenas I had, there would always be men, she said.
I believe her. Now of course, not then. We still get men. But there is a new breed of men, the women-eaters, and I remember I had blamed you women at some point for the rise of these impertinent fellows. I thought the problem was just that women thought they were independent and could do anything. (We can.)
Well that is just one of the problems. But the genesis of this problem was when we start by doing the chasing. This is not to say that we should sit like mangoes and wait to be chosen. It is paramount that we choose our mate.
The art is in stepping back after choosing him and letting him be a man. It is human nature, more man nature (animal really) that they despise what they get easily. I am not saying make him get you the head and toes from the right foot of a Sadducee. I am saying, can you hold onto your panties and allow him to ask you on a date at least or even send you a forward on WhatsApp.
A man described to me in an email last week, after I had expressed dissatisfaction with the dating scene, how he had taken his wife on a first date. It was refreshing to read how he had borrowed his father’s vehicle, picked his date and went to dinner. Dropped her home, not before getting a heated kiss.
I also had a good time dating back when the men did the chasing. My one would take a matatu all the way to my place on Sunday morning and we would then go out to spend the day together. He would then bring me back home by matatu and then find his way home. It is easy to respect such a man.
The problem now is women; I do not know if it is in an effort to be modern or believing in the perceived scarcity of men or just plain bad manners. Women meet a man and after two hours, he knows what your throat looks like from the other end.
What we have now are men who are not required to do much. Things fall on their laps. A woman will come pick him, he will live in her house, she will decide when to have his children and she will raise his children (maybe even him).
I think this is why we have depressed men and harassed women. We cannot respect men we chase and men cannot love what they do not work for.
