Get a man, life’s rough as it is

I have never really understood why men go absolutely crazy when you find out they are not who they have been saying they are. A woman finds out her husband is cheating on her. Instead of explaining, apologising even denying, he beats her. A woman finds out that the man she has been dating is married, he ghosts her. No explanation as to where he got a wife and three children in two weeks. What is this, reversed psychology? Or is there a reward for turning a blind eye?

In our quest to be modern, we have believed in a very big lie: We can do everything by ourselves. We are often forced to do it ourselves. We do not need men. We pay our own bills, birth and raise children on our own, change our own wheels and bulbs, and then wonder why we are almost always admitted in hospital with high blood pressure or exhaustion.

I know we want to have it all, and we can have it all. It does not diminish your achievements to get a little help, to want a little help, even a lot of help, from men. Of course not any wild animal, the useful men around you. And before you start yelling “gold-digger ” “slay queen”, one can be useful in many ways other than by dispensing cash. Though money is good, it answereth all things. (It is in the Bible, heathens! Ecclesiastes 10:19)

Imagine if you will, the life of a single mother. Sure, it is not hard; it is like riding a bicycle. Only you do not know how to ride a bicycle. Plus the two-wheeled death trap is on fire. The faster you peddle, the bigger the flames get. You get so used to burning. In fact you brag about how much heat you can take.

It takes a special kind of man to look at your inferno circus and say, “Ok. Hold on. You are in trouble here.” And you would reply, “What is it?” (in a British accent) Then he takes control of the situation, gets you off the bike, despite your protests. Douses the wretched bike in water. Gives you a glass of water. Maybe even gets you a new bike, and teaches you how to ride it.

Wouldn’t it be nice? But we live in a jungle. Where a monkey will see a woman struggling with a heavy load and instead of offering to carry even a paper bag, better still leave her be, he will jump on her back, pull her hair, slap her behind and ask her to move faster. And a woman will be moving faster for fear of being alone and the dread of being thought of as a slay queen.

Hear ye! Men with masculine energy as their dominant energy make the world go round. The one who will go out in the rain to fetch your car, the one you call and tell all your problems and he gives sound advice, the one who checks whether you got home after a horrid day, the one who figures you probably need to do you hair, the list is endless.

We really underestimate the power of having a man. (Not a hyena, let us be clear). I know the angry birds are about to come for me. They know, though, I am speaking the truth. The load gets heavy. Life gets rough. We were not meant to carry these loads.

Let us stop being ashamed of expecting to be treated well. Do not let a blood-sucking monkey trick you into giving him a free ride. (Beware of men who want you to be independent) Ask for what you need.

At this point I must give a shout out to my girl pal who goes after everything she wants! Yes, men included. While some of us are sitting like mangos, she is texting first. And not dying! Imagine that. While we fill our phone books with numbers, waiting for texts or calls, she is in my ear “text bird!” (So by now you know I am not trying to say bird right? This auto correct.)

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